Steps
by Amelia Bedelia
Summary: No friends. No family. No one there for her. Lily doesn't know if she can stand it much longer. James, on the other hand, knows she did nothing to deserve the life she has. Love is in the air as James attempts to patch up Lily's scarred life.
1. Paradise

**Title: Steps**

**Author: Amelia Bedelia**

**Chapter One: Paradise**

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hello, all! Ok, some of you may know me, some may not! I like to read a bunch of Harry Potter stories and you may have gotten a review from me! (I can't really keep track of who I've talked to since I sort-of talk more than any human being should be allowed to…)**

**Anyway, this is my first story posted on and I'm really excited about getting it posted! I would REALLY like it if you would be so kind as to review! What I want to try and do is have so many reviews per chapter. (Is that too much to ask?) I don't know! I've never done this before! Anyway, this chapter I would like to try and have five reviews!**

**I also know that this chapter is mostly in Lily's point of view and has a lot of memories. BUT I promise that I won't have that many memories in the other chapters! (I've already got two more ready to go! Yay! I'm so happy!) I also didn't have this story proofread by anyone other than me so I'm hoping it doesn't have many mistakes or is too confusing to read.**

**Thanks for listening to all of my babble!**

**Enjoy!**

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**_Chapter One: Paradise_**

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_Step. Step. Step._

Lily's feet shuffled out of her dormitory. Tonight was the night. She would do it.

She gave a weak nod good-bye to her cat and closed the door behind her.

_Step. Step. Step._

Flashback

"Mommy!" Eleven-year-old, Lily Evans, flung herself into her parents' arms. "I can't believe the year has gone by so quickly!"

"Not for us, sweetie!" her father said into her hair. "I bet you've had a lot of fun at your school this year."

"Oh, I have!" Lily exclaimed, and she was off, telling of her whole year at her new wizarding school, Hogwarts.

Breathless, she looked around the station. "Where's Petunia?" she asked.

Her parents gave each other nervous glances. "Uh… she had some - stuff to do."

Lily nodded slowly, knowing that this wasn't the truth, but she accepted it - for now.

It was a short car ride back home with Lily repeating nearly everything that had happened that year with the exception of when she and her best friend, Elizabeth Ann, had skipped Potions once. She felt as if she were now reliving her past year in pictures and memories before her eyes. What a great ride home it was.

Lily immediately jumped out of her seat once they pulled into the driveway and ran into their cozy house to find her sister lounging on the couch talking to, apparently, a new boyfriend.

"No, you hang up first! - No you! - Come on! - All right we'll hang up at the same time. - Ok, one, two, three… Hey! Why didn't you hang up? - I know I didn't hang up but neither did you! - Oh, Vernon, hang up!"

Lily rolled her eyes and picked up the phone in Petunia's hand. "Let me help!" Lily said and slammed the phone down on the receiver. Petunia turned around in her spot on the couch. Lily expected her to squeal like she always did when she was excited and run over to Lily and hug her to pieces - but that's not how it happened.

"You bitch! How dare you?"

"Petunia, I'm home! Aren't you going to say hello to me?" Lily asked, confused.

"To a freak like you?" Petunia gave a loud laugh. "I would never do such a thing! You must be out of your mind! You most likely are, actually…"

Lily stumbled over her words like traveling up a rocky hill by foot. "Petunia, what's wrong? Did something happen at your school? Do you want to talk to me about it?"

Petunia looked astounded. "Actually, something did happen - _you_ were born! You come traipsing in here, hanging up the phone on people that I _care_ about, unlike you!"

Lily's eyes began to fill with tears. "What - "

"Just get out of my sight, ok?" Petunia picked up the phone on the receiver and began to dial Vernon's number again. She turned around to see Lily still standing in the same spot, gaping like a goldfish. "Go on," Petunia said, making a swishing motion with her hand. "Shoo."

Tears began to fall silently down her face and she ran into the bathroom before her parents could see her.

,.,.,.,.,.,., End of Flashback ,.,.,.,.,.,.,

One year later the "Voldemort era," as some people brave enough to say, began and struck Lily's life badly.

_Step. Step. Step._

In Lily's third year, Voldemort murdered her father just before he was to come home to their house on Christmas Eve. Her mother went into shock and no presents were exchanged that Christmas.

Petunia accused Lily for his death and hasn't said more than ten words to her since then.

_Step. Step. Step._

Lily passed Sirius Black in the hallway. She nearly had to hold onto the wall to keep from throwing herself on him and punching him to death.

_Step. Step. Step._

Flashback

It was Lily's fifth year. An owl swooped into her window and landed on the empty bed beside her. All of her roommates were gone for winter break. Lily's best friend, Elizabeth Ann Currey, was visiting her muggle Grandparents for Christmas and was flying by plane, which Lily had never been on.

Elizabeth Ann, as she liked to be called, was Lily's best and only friend. After Petunia and her father had deserted Lily, both in different ways, and her mother never spoke to anyone anymore, Lily had only one person she could crawl to for help: Elizabeth Ann.

Sure, Lily knew the two other girls in the dormitory by name, but that was it. She never really got to know them anymore than that. The two girls were popular and discarded Lily and Elizabeth Ann as geeks and no one's. Neither Lily nor Elizabeth Ann _wanted_ to be popular either. It wasn't their fault they hated being the focus of attention.

Lily took off the letter on the owl's foot and let him fly back away with a treat in his mouth.

Carefully, Lily opened the envelope and pulled out the letter concealed inside.

She read it:

Lily Evans,

I understand that you are Elizabeth Ann's best friend. I, being the neighbor that I am, wrote you this letter telling of her death since her parents are suffering immense grief, as she was their only daughter.

Lily's jaw dropped. Death? This must be some mistake. This person, whoever it was, they must have the wrong person! Lily didn't even finish her letter before tears fell down her cheek.

Elizabeth Ann was flying back from her Grandparents house when their plane crash-landed somewhere in-between. I'm sorry that this was so sudden. But that's how life treats people. I hope you can find some more friends that will help you through Elizabeth Ann's death. Once again, I'm sorry.

Many apologies,

Sylvia Frey

Lily couldn't breathe. Here she was, expecting Elizabeth Ann to walk through the Great Hall doors downstairs in just a few minutes, and she gets a letter from her best friends' neighbor saying that she'd died on her way back from her Grandparents because the plane had crashed! This was just too quick to happen at once! And the neighbor, she seemed like she could care less if Elizabeth Ann had died or not! How could there be such a life form that was as selfish as her? How was she supposed to even _believe_ this stupid letter? How was she supposed to know if the person who wrote it was actually Elizabeth Ann's neighbor? What if the person who _really_ wrote the letter was just a prankster? What if this letter was just a joke from the Marauders?

Lily began to laugh and wipe the tears from her face and some of the color came back. The Marauders, a group of boys her age, were famous for playing jokes and pranks on people and Lily was their normal victim. The Marauders were also considered the most popular and hottest boys of all time as well. Lily and Elizabeth Ann, however, had different thoughts on them.

Stuffing the letter in her cloak, Lily hurried downstairs to find the Common Room empty. She knew that they had all gone downstairs to meet their friends coming back on the Hogwarts Express. Lily made a mad dash for the portrait of the Fat Lady and climbed out.

By the time that Lily was downstairs, the horse-less carriages were pulling up letting students out one by one.

She took a spot in the back, waiting for people to clear out. Lily knew that Elizabeth Ann would do the same and take one of the last carriages.

There were about ten more carriages left and Lily knew that she would probably be in the last one.

Five carriages were left.

Two were left.

Lily began to shiver. She hadn't brought out her cloak. There wasn't anyone left on the platform. That was, until three of the four Marauders came running down the stairs behind her and practically shoved her to the ground as they came flying towards the edge of the steps.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Lily yelled bravely.

And Sirius Black, one of the strongest and most popular of the four boys, stopped in his steps and rounded on Lily. But now was too late for Lily to remember that he was the one Marauder that you would never _ever _tell what to do unless you wanted permanent damage done to yourself, either physically or mentally.

"What'd you say to me?" he hissed into her face.

Lily looked out of the corner of her eye for Elizabeth Ann. Lily knew that once Elizabeth Ann saw Lily in trouble, she would help Lily out on the double. They sort-of had this twin thing going on where they could sense when the other was in danger.

The carriage came to a stop in front of James Potter, the leader of the Marauders, and in front of Peter Pettigrew, who was the weakest and least liked of the Marauders. The carriage door opened and the two Marauders helped out -

_Remus Lupin._

Without thinking of the consequences, Lily shoved Sirius Black to the ground and ran over to the carriage. Pushing Remus, James, and Peter over Lily climbed in, looking for Elizabeth Ann. She was nowhere to be found.

Lily turned and jumped out of the horse-less carriage just as it began to move once again. She then turned on the first person she saw - James Potter.

"What the hell did you do? Where is she? Are you _trying_ to make my life miserable?"

"Uh, I have no idea what you're talking about." James replied nervously.

"Yeah, sure you don't! Do you know how bad of liars you are? Where did you put her? Is she in his trunk." Remus raised an eyebrow. "Aha! That's it isn't it?" Lily lunged for Remus' stuff and began to throw around all of his belongings from it in hopes of finding Elizabeth Ann at the bottom.

James grabbed Lily by the waist and pulled her away from the trunk. Boy was _that_ a mistake. Lily's arms began to flail around and she managed to hit James upside the head a few times before he couldn't hold her back anymore and he let go. She fell to the ground - _hard_. She stayed there for a few seconds too long that the Marauders had thought she was knocked out.

Turned out that she wasn't. She had just been getting a breather before she got off the ground and bulleted for the trunk again. The Marauders backed off seeing that she looked a little dangerous at the time. She finally began to slow down as she reached the bottom of the trunk. Then without warning she whipped out the letter in her coat pocket and ran to James. She gripped his cloak and showed him the letter.

"I know you did this! You have a sick enough mind to do this! AND you're a prefect so _you_ would know where everyone was going for winter break! I_ know_ you did this! _Admit it!_" James took the letter from Lily's hand.

Sirius ripped Lily off of James' cloak and threw her to the ground where she began to cry.

"Aw! Did I hurt the little mudblood?"

Remus' and James' heads whipped around and gaped at Sirius in shock. They had never heard him once say that. Lily continued to cry.

"Hey, James, look! The wimp's begging for mercy!" Sirius spun his face back to glare at Lily. When he noticed that she wasn't looking at him, he grabbed her hair and pulled it up so that she was. "I don't think she'll get any mercy."

"Sirius," James said and glared at Sirius. This wasn't what Sirius normally acted like. James quickly finished reading the letter in his hands before Sirius could hurt Lily anymore.

"This," Sirius said pushing Lily, "was for telling me what to do."

James had, by now, finished reading the letter. "Sirius stop," he said firmly.

"This," Sirius said, punching Lily so that she fell back onto the hard floor, "was for digging through Remus' trunk."

James wasn't even sure if Lily was conscious anymore. "I'm warning you one more time Sirius," James repeated, beginning to walk towards Sirius. "Stop." Remus glared and began to follow James to where Sirius was. Peter just cowered in the corner like he'd been doing the whole time.

Sirius, however, did not listen to James. "And this," he repeated, swiftly kicking Lily in the stomach, "was for threatening to hurt the Marauders. You picked the wrong group, bitch. The Marauders stick together."

"Sirius!" James finally shouted, not controlling his anger any longer. He ran to Sirius and shoved him away from Lily. Remus quickly followed James, but instead of pushing Sirius, he checked to see how Lily was doing. He _was_, after all, one of the school's best "nurses" besides Eleanor. The school nurse went by first name, for some reason. No one really even knew her last name.

Sirius, shocked, tripped over his shoes and, luckily, fell onto a bench. "James, what the hell was that for?"

"Sirius, you just hurt an innocent girl! You don't even know why she was crying! She wasn't begging for mercy from you! God, you just think everything is about you, don't you?"

James felt like he was having some sort-of outside-of-body experience. He had never once yelled at his best friend - _never_. And then when his best friend was trying to do something for James himself, it was the worst timing ever! James felt his knees began to shake under this strange experience for him.

Sirius seemed _extremely_ confused. "James, what was in the letter," Sirius demanded. "I want to know if I still had the permission to hurt her."

James looked unbelievably at his best friend - no, _ex_-best friend. "Damn-it, Sirius, you just called her something that only a low-life Slytherin would do!"

"Yeah, so? She is one, isn't she?" Sirius said, not convinced he was wrong. He obviously thought that whatever he said was right and whatever Slytherins said was wrong. Oh boy, was James mad now. For all he cared, Sirius _could_ be a Slytherin right now and he wouldn't care!

"Sirius, you realize you're also pointing out that's what Remus is then, don't you?" James asked, trying not to blow his top and curse Sirius across the Atlantic Ocean.

"Oh, no, Remus isn't - isn't… _that._ Just Lily."

James looked at Sirius, almost too traumatized to move. Sirius said this as if he was _expecting_ James to hex him.

And that's was James did - or planned to do.

He pulled out his wand and was glad to see Sirius cower away in terror.

James felt unbelievable power at his fingertips. James didn't know what spell he would say, so he said the first thing that he _felt_ like doing to Sirius.

"_Crucio!_" James yelled and felt all of his power rush from his fingertips, through the wand, and towards to Sirius. The spell almost forced him to sit down, but James held his ground.

Sirius didn't have any time to register what had happened before he curled up in agonizing pain. It was pain beyond pain, like pain you've never felt before and would hope never to feel in your entire life. After James dropped his wand to the ground from his weakness, Sirius fell to the cold floor.

James began to sway and closed his eyes, trying hard not to believe what he had just done to his best friend. _I'll open my eyes and Sirius will be sitting back on the bench, unharmed. _James' eyes fluttered open and he was now unable to stand. As if everything was in slow motion, James toppled to the ground between Lily and Sirius, breathing heavily.

Remus had no idea what he should do.

"James," Peter squeaked, "are you okay - "

"Peter, shut up!" Remus said. He set down Lily's head gently on the ground where she lay unconscious.

Slowly, using his wolf-like skills, Remus picked up James' wand, Sirius' wand, and Lily's wand getting no one's attention but Peter's. He placed them in his pocket just when Sirius began to stir and moan.

Peter ran frantically to Sirius' side. "Sirius, are you okay? James nearly killed you! I couldn't believe it! I saw it with my own eyes too! Are you sure you're - "

"Stop screaming!" Sirius yelled as he tried to cover his ears in pain. The truth was, Peter had just barely been talking loud enough that Remus could hardly hear him. It was silent then. The only sound that was heard was Sirius' moaning and James' breathing. Again Sirius yelled. "James, damn-it! Haven't you done enough? Stop the _annoying_ breathing! You're giving me a headache!"

James had stopped his heavy breathing and Remus noticed his eyes open. Slowly, ever so slowly, James sat up and looked around at the scene he was in the middle of. And quietly, James asked, "What happened?"

Remus' eyes grew twice as wide. "You don't remember?" he asked incredulously. "You don't remember a thing?"

"Well, n - not really, I - " James stuttered as he first looked at Lily with a shudder and then to Remus' belongings strewn all over the place - and finally to Sirius. He was rolling on the ground with his hands on his head, whispering to himself about an awful migraine as if he himself was a different person.

"Oh, lord," James moaned. "I thought I was dreaming…"

"No James," Remus said. He waited for some reply from James, but all he got was James putting his head in his hands. Remus continued. "Do you realize what - er - spell you just used?" he asked quietly.

James nodded.

"Do you realize what kind-of magic that is?"

Again, James nodded.

"So, you do realize what everyone that just saw you might think, don't you?"

And once again, James nodded. Then to Remus' surprise, he just stood and helped Sirius to his feet. Sirius complained about his legs hurting but James continued to pull him up without a word and dragged him off to Eleanor's office.

Remus sighed, confused, and levitated Lily to the nurse's office as well. He walked in to find Eleanor and James in a fight.

"Just tell me why the poor boy is hurt!" she screamed, while Sirius tried to stuff a pillow in his ears. James noticed this and helped Sirius lay down while he found a stash of some earplugs by Eleanor's office.

"Please stop screaming," James calmly explained. "He's in great pain and doesn't need a headache. Trust me."

"Just tell me what happened," she hissed at James, searching for a soundless potion so that Sirius wouldn't be able to hear any noise - in his head or out.

"I told you, let me speak to Professor Dumbledore first."

"I certainly will not. I have a right to know what happens to my patients." Eleanor complained.

"Eleanor," Remus said from the other side of the room, "just let him talk to Professor Dumbledore. He needs to know first."

Eleanor looked helpless and surrounded. She sighed and opened curtains for another bed where Lily was floated. "Should I even ask what happened to the young lady?"

Remus gave the smallest of smiles. "I'm afraid that it would be the same story."

She nodded and showed James the door as well as gave him the password for Professor Dumbledore's office. He had been here a few times before so he wasn't surprised when the password into his office turned out to be "gum drops."

He walked into the oval office and awed. That was the other thing about Professor Dumbledore's office. You could see it as many times as you want and it would never become boring.

Dumbledore sat at his desk and bid James to come in and take a seat.

"I must admit, it is a surprise to see you. Madame Clarence brought you, did she not?"

_Oh, so _that's_ what Eleanor's last name is._ "Yes she did," James replied.

"Ah! I must catch her before she leaves." Dumbledore hurried down the steps and James heard the murmur of voices talking. Then the next thing you, Dumbledore was walking back up the steps and sitting behind his desk again.

"So, what happened that you had to tell me before Madame Clarence?"

"Um…" James was now feeling scared. What if he was expelled from school? What if the ministry got involved? What if Sirius never recovered? What if -

James stopped thinking about the "what ifs" and blurted it out. "I used an unforgivable curse." He bowed his head and began wringing his hands in his lap. He heard Dumbledore breathe in deeply and let all of the air out slowly. This gave James plenty of time to consider what his punishment would be. Detention… Suspension… Expulsion… Azkaban…

"Which one?"

"Cruciatus curse. I don't even know why! I was just so _angry_ at Sirius! I mean, he said some things that - uh - weren't true," James finished lamely.

"I see…"

"Then he acted as if he didn't care and - and - I just decided that I wanted to _make_ him know that what he said was wrong. So, I thought that I could just hex him. You know jelly-legs or something pointless like that. But I just felt like there was so much anger in me that I just wanted to use it all up. And so I used a curse - and I never _ever_ used it before Professor! I swear!" James said, begging.

Dumbledore nodded and was about to speak again when there was a knock on the door.

¿

Lily awoke with a start. She looked around the room and saw she was in the infirmary. Hovering above her was Eleanor, the nurse.

"Hello, dear," she said. Professor Dumbledore told me to wake you as quick as I could. He said he needed to see you."

Lily nodded, confused as to why she was even in the infirmary. She couldn't remember a thing. "What's the password?" she asked. Lily looked into the mirror and saw that she had bruises and cuts all over her face, not to mention the disheveled hair. But yet, she still remembered nothing.

"It's gum drops."

Lily nodded and left. _Maybe he wants to talk to me about my grades! I _have_ been studying harder than usual._ Lily's thoughts continued in this fashion for awhile.

She arrived at the gargoyle and opened it by saying "gum drops." She stepped onto the moving stairs. They began to wind but came to a stop at the top. There was yet another door. Nervously, she knocked on the door.

"Come in, Lily."

Lily opened the wooden door cautiously. She saw Professor Dumbledore sitting behind his desk, smiling at Lily. Lily smiled back, now feeling comfortable, and opened the door farther.

That was when it hit her. She saw James sitting across from Professor Dumbledore and knew that this was about when she had hit the Marauders, vandalized Remus' trunk, and whatever else that she couldn't remember. James was staring at her in pity. _Oh no… I have to get out of here…_

Lily turned and slammed the door. She ran full out down the steps and out of the gargoyle. Lily was looking around frantic. Where would she go? There _was _no where to go. She collapsed next to the empty wall and began to sob uncontrollably.

Lily hadn't even noticed the gargoyle open and close until she realized there was someone behind her. She turned, scared, and saw James sitting next to her. He took her in his arms and began to rock back and forth as if she were a small baby. Lily didn't complain or fight back. Just settled for crying on his shoulder.

Lily was confused as to why he would let her cry on his shoulder - this boy she barely knew! - only because she thought that she would be expelled.

Lily raised her head. She knew something wasn't right here. "Excuse me," she said. James looked at her. "Um, why are you feeling sorry for me? I was the one who hit you and threw around Remus' things." James raised his eyebrows.

"What are you talking about? It wasn't your fault that you were angry. We were the first people you saw and so it was simplest to take out your anger on us."

_What the hell?_ "Why was I angry?"

"Jesus Christ," James muttered. "Sirius must have hit your head harder than I thought."

"What?" she asked. "Why would he hit me?"

"Because you were angry at us."

Lily didn't move. She knew there was something in the back of her brain that she couldn't register. Like something that she knew in a past life but couldn't put her finger on it. Then she remembered a part of that missing piece. "Oh, he called me a, uh…"

"Yes," James cut in. "That was just before he knocked you out." James looked away from Lily and found his feet to watch. "I don't think I'll be talkin' to him for awhile."

Lily raised her eyebrow. "Just because he called me… _that_?"

"Yes!" James yelled, now turning away from Lily entirely. "And he didn't even acknowledge that Remus is the exact same line of heritage. Sometimes I just don't understand him…"

"Sorry to interrupt your little pout session, but why _was_ I angry?" Lily asked.

"Oh…" James reached into his cloak and found the letter he took from Lily when she had been waving it in his face. "Do you remember this?"

Lily looked at the letter suspiciously. Then, almost as quickly as it had come to her when she saw James, she knew why she had been angry.

Now she had a good excuse to cry on famous James Potter's shoulder.

,.,.,.,.,.,., End of Flashback ,.,.,.,.,.,.,

_Step. Step. Step._

Lily had almost forgiven Sirius by then, but whenever Lily was sad, she still used him as a target source for all of her anger.

It took nearly three months to get James and Sirius both talking again since they were both stubborn. In the meantime, Lily and James talked about as much as James and Sirius would. He told her _everything_ that happened the day her best friend died. _Everything_.

_Step. Step. Step._

By the end of her fifth year, Lily's new best friend was James Potter. No one could really guess since Lily would always stay out of every prank they would do as well as stay away from all attention they got.

Sometime in her sixth year - she'd rather not remember - her mother had died of depression. Petunia, once again, blamed Lily and hasn't said _anything_ to her since.

It took her over an entire summer to realize what had really happened to her. She was in love. With none other than James Potter. Her best friend - _only_ friend.

However, it only took Lily five seconds to realize what James thought of _her._

_Step. Step. Creak._

Lily opened the Astronomy Tower door.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Alright, I don't know about you, but I'm seeing this story as pretty depressing. I'm not usually a depressing person. I'm known as "the clown" with my friends since I always try to cheer everyone up whenever they're down so this story is a change for me.**

**Alright, all of you Sirius Black lovers - I'm sorry! I don't want any flames, ok? First story, first chapter, this is my first try! I honestly didn't want Sirius to be that mean. I SWEAR! He's my all-time favorite character! It just happened to work out in this story! But, I will promise to Sirius lovers - I WILL NOT have Sirius be distant with James and Lily by the end of the story. I couldn't live with that myself!**

**NEXT CHAPTER: You find out exactly why Lily's in the astronomy tower. There's also ONE more flashback and I don't think it's very long. (I don't know about you, but I personally HATE flashbacks that are in the story too much, so guess what I do? I go and write a whole chapter with Flashbacks!) I'm really sorry to all of you who are like me! I would REALLY like it, though, if you could still review. I only want five!**

**Enough of my talking! Just review - PRETTY PLEASE?**

**Thank you!**

**Yours truly,**

**Amelia Bedelia**


	2. Crying for the First Time

**AUTHORS NOTE: And back by popular demand, chapter two of _Steps_! I can't believe I got twelve reviews so far!!! That's awesome, people!!! (I was actually _really_ surprised when I got a review within twenty minutes of when I first posted the story!!!)**

**Ok, I titled this chapter _Crying for the First Time_. (It's self-explanatory.) I didn't really know what to call it! I sort-of ran out of ideas so here's this!**

**Anyway, I think I want to get up to twenty-five reviews total this time. That's thirteen more!!! Thank you so much, you guys! Anyway, just to refresh your memory, the italicized below is what was at the ending of last chapter. Wait! Italicized! I just remembered something I forgot to put last chapter. Every time that I _have a word like this that usually is what the person is thinking._**

**Well, on with the show!!!**

_It took her over an entire summer to realize what had really happened to her. She was in love. With none other than James Potter. Her best friend - only friend._

_However, it only took Lily five seconds to realize what James thought of her._

_Step. Step. Creak._

_Lily opened the __Astronomy__Tower__ door._

[][][][][][][][][] Flashback [][][][][][][][][]

She knew it. She hadn't missed anyone as much as she'd missed him. She couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts to see James.

She sighed. Just _thinking_ of him made her swoon.

Lily ran through the barrier between the muggle and wizard world. She hoped to open her eyes and find her best friend there waiting for her.

But he wasn't.

Lily just shrugged it off and continued to the scarlet steam engine. _Ok, Lily, today's the day! Once you find him, you have to tell him how much he means to you. What's the worst that could happen?_

_He wouldn't love me in that way! _she yelled back at herself.

_But he would still want to be your friend._

_I sure hope so…_

Lily, full of courage, ran to the train and dragged her bag until she found an empty compartment.

_Knock, knock. _"Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to interrupt you…"

Lily continued to search. She decided to check where she had sat last year with the Marauders. However, she found something that didn't make her extremely happy.

_Knock, knock._ Lily slid open the door of a compartment at the back of the train. There, in her normal spot, was a blonde haired girl. "Sorry," she started to mumble, but stopped when she heard a "Lily!" from the inside of the compartment. She opened the door again and saw James sitting next to the blonde haired girl.

"Oh, hi, James."

"Hey Lily! I want you to meet Caroline." James stood to greet Lily and pulled up the girl with him. "Caroline, this is Lily." Both girls gave each other a polite hello.

There was a very long and awkward silence between the three until Sirius and Remus barged in through the door.

"Remus! Sirius!" James jumped up as he did with Lily and pulled up Caroline with him. "Guys, this is Caroline. Caroline, this is Remus and Sirius."

Caroline nudged past James and extended her hand to Sirius. "Hello," she said and gave a small giggly laugh. "I'm Caroline."

"And I'm speechless," Sirius said as he took her hand and pulled it to his mouth, giving it a kiss. Caroline gave another one of her fake laughs.

They all sat down and began to talk - well, all except for Lily. She didn't know what to think of this blonde-haired bimbo. She needed to talk to James - _desperately._

Lily waited until Caroline and Sirius were engaged in a conversation before she tapped James on the shoulder. "C'mon," she muttered with a small smile on her mouth. "Let's go get some food."

James grinned and left the compartment hot on Lily's trail.

Considering that they were at the back of the train, Lily had plenty of time to talk to James.

"So," she began. "This Caroline, when did you meet her? Today? Are you old friends?"

"Oh." James got a dreamy expression on his face. "I met her over the summer. I had no idea our parents were friends! Well, it all worked out that she's in the same year as us too! Lily, I don't know what to think of her." Lily looked at this comment as him saying that he needed help getting her off of his back. Lily tried not to grin.

"What is it?" she asked eagerly.

"She just - I don't know. I mean, I've never felt this way about anyone before! This, actually, is the first time that I've liked a girl and haven't kissed her within the first week of me liking her!" Lily felt crushed.

"So, you're just saying that you don't like me - is that it?" Lily asked.

"Oh, no! That's not it at all! It's just that I _like her, you know? And I don't think that's it. Lily, I think I'm in love!"_

Lily stopped and raised her eyebrow at James. "James, that's impossible! You've only known her for probably no more than two months, am I right?"

"Well, yeah, but - "

"And this is probably only the third time you've talked to her face to face, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but that's not - "

"Then James, I just think you haven't been around her long enough for her to kiss you yet. You both have just been surrounded by parents the whole time!"

"Now that's not true, Lily! We had plenty of time to - "

"Not to mention, Sirius and _Caroline," she spat, "are back in the compartment flirting and you're so blind that you can't even see that!"_

"Lily!" James yelled, grabbing her by the shoulders to hold her from running away from him like always. She also hated it when he made her look directly in his eyes. Both of their eyes were like huge blue and green puddles that you could fall into and rarely stay out of.

"What has gotten into you?" James asked gently.

Lily took in a deep breath and let it all out. "It's just that I - I - "

"Yes, Lily?" he asked, enchanting her with his eyes. _Damn his gorgeous eyes._

"Well, I, uh, I'm worried about you and Caroline."

"Worried… About what?"

"I mean, she's probably a Ravenclaw, isn't she?" Lily asked.

"Yeah…"

"So she's probably smart."

"Yes, Lily, that's usually why people are in Ravenclaw," James said.

"Yes," Lily said. "So, if she's smart, there's a definite possibility that she's tricking you."

"Tricking me? Lily what's wrong? Why are you - "

"Yes, she's tricking you. She's only using you to get at Sirius! You don't see it now, James, but you will! Oh, yes, you will! I'll make sure you will," Lily said, trying to convince her more than James at the moment.

"Lily, are you listening to yourself? You're talking silly nonsense! She wouldn't do that! Not to me!" James countered.

"James, that's just it! You think that since you're all high-and-mighty then no one would ever want to hurt you! You think you're the only person that they want! What if you're _not_ the person that they want - they'll step all over you! That's _exactly what Caroline is going to do to you! Do you understand what I'm saying, James?!?"_

James looked at her shocked. "You've lost your marbles. Lily, normally you just accept this kind-of thing. That's why I like you so much! You listen to my problems and don't tell me that I'm wrong! I _hate when people always tell me I'm not taking the right path, or not choosing the right choices! I hate it! Why are you now turning your back on me?" James yelled._

Lily sighed and now took James by the arms. "Look, James, I'm just doing what I think is best for you! I know you're angry with me now, but trust me! Someday you may thank me!"

"Lily, I don't want you doing what you _think is best for me! Stop telling me what to do! Just don't come near me, okay?" And with that said, James turned his back on Lily and walked back to the compartment. Lily's senses finally kicked back in once she saw James entering their compartment again. She started to run towards the end of the train and straighten their problem out like they always did - but stopped running when she heard a loud __thump._

Lily's trunk was sitting outside the compartment door. She tried to open James' door but it was locked shut.

Misery sinking in on her, Lily sat on her trunk, rejected. She finally heard the next door down slide open. And Peter Pettigrew's head popped out.

"Oh, hello," Peter mumbled.

"Hi," Lily said. Her and Peter had never really talked. They were only friends by acquaintance; no other special relationship.

"Um…"

"Yes?" Lily inquired.

"Do you know where the guys are?"

"The guys" Peter was referring to was obviously the Marauders. He didn't have any other people he was fond enough to call the "guys." "Um, I think they're in here," Lily said.

Peter nodded his small head and began to drag his trunk into the hallway.

"Do you mind if I take your compartment?" Lily asked.

Peter shook his head quickly. Lily gave him a small smile and walked into Peter's old compartment, pulling her trunk in behind her. And the moment Lily sat down on the chair, she began to sob violently.

It was hours later until she thought she had no more tears left in her, but was proved wrong once she heard James began to laugh at a joke Caroline had said. She sobbed for another three hours.

It wasn't until she heard the train whistle sound that she decided she should clean up so she could face the world looking unharmed.

And face the world she did.

,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,` End of Flashback ,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`

It took over a week for Lily to decide how she would react to James' outburst on the train.

_Step. Step. Climb._

Lily moved no more. She was now overlooking the Hogwarts Ground from the top of the banister.

Lily heard a soft giggle from the corner. She turned her head, looking for who would be in the Astronomy Tower during dinner.

"Hello?" she called, almost scared.

Immediately all of the noises stopped. "Hello?" she called again, stepping down from the banister. "Who's there?"

"Lily! What are you doing up here? You're supposed to be at dinner." The person stepped out from the darkness and Lily now could see who was along with Lily in the Astronomy Tower.

"James?" Lily asked, astounded. "I should be asking you the same question!"

"I asked first!" James yelled. "Why are _you up here? I'm a little busy now."_

"I bet you are," Lily muttered rolling her eyes.

"Lily, why are you up here? You didn't follow us - did you?"

Lily stopped rolling her eyes; in fact, she practically stopped breathing entirely. "There's - what? _Two people up here? Oh god…" Realization finally dawned on Lily. James was up here with Caroline. She was only proved her suspicion when - _

"James, honey. Where are you, sweetie?" Caroline came out of the darkness with her robe off and her buttoned shirt done up halfway.

"Now, Lily, this isn't what you think."

"Ex_cuse_ me? This isn't what I _think_? Go ahead, James, try and tell me you two were just studying up here! Just _try!" Lily yelled._

"Erm… human anatomy?"

"James Potter! You are hopeless!"

"Look, Lily," he said, coming closer than Lily would have preferred. He obviously didn't want Caroline overhearing what he would say. "I know what you're going to say. 'I told you so,' right? You said we'd be snogging once parents weren't around and - you're right. I'm sorry."

"Now you're sorry. _Now_ you're sorry! James, I think you're a little bit late for that, James!" Lily exclaimed, climbing back onto the banister.

"Lily - what? Too late for 'I'm sorry'? Lily, what on earth are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed! Get down!" James yelled frantically. He didn't, after all, want Lily to die.

"That's my point, James."

"What - " but James stopped in mid-sentence as he realized what Lily came up here to do. "Caroline, could you step outside for a bit?"

"Sure, James," she cooed. "Don't take too long!"

James turned his back on her and grabbed onto Lily's arms. "You're not going to die today, Lily. Whenever I'm around, you will _never die! I won't let that happen to a nice, beautiful, and smart girl like you."_

Little did James know that Caroline had not done what she said she would do. Caroline was now lurking in the corner on the opposite side of the room that Lily and James were on and was listening in on every word they were saying.

Lily began to sweat. Now she didn't know what to think. Did James still like Lily as a friend, or was he still angry at Lily and not want to be responsible for her death that he could just care less about?

Caroline was still hiding in the shadows with no one noticing.

"Do you mean it?" Lily asked, almost embarrassed.

"Yes," James replied with a smile playing at his lips from Lily's shyness. "Every word of it."

Lily almost seemed satisfied with his answer now. "But how am I supposed to know whether or not you're lying?"

James shrugged his shoulders, still keeping a firm grasp on Lily so that she wouldn't suddenly jump without notice. "I guess you just have to trust me. Now come on, Lily, why don't you - "

"But what about what you said to me on the train? Do you really only see me as someone who listens to all of your problems? I thought that I was more than that, James," Lily countered.

James looked downcast. "Well, you do listen to my problems - but that's not all you do!" James said quickly before Lily did anything drastic. "I mean, you help me with school, you help me have better relationships, and you even helped me realize what big prats the guys and I were! Lily, believe it or not, but I actually learned from you that the earth revolved around the sun - not me!" James added, getting the smallest of smiles from Lily.

"I really didn't mean to hurt you that bad." James said. "I mean, sure, I felt like I had to hurt _something at the time since I felt a little __stressed, but that didn't give me any reason to hurt you - or to hurt anyone, in that matter. I'm sorry Lily."_

"James, you have no idea how much you broke my heart that day on the train," Lily whispered quietly. "I spent the whole train ride crying! In fact, that's why I came up here in the first place! I had given up hope on everything. I had nothing left to depend on! You were the only person left and you ripped the rug right out from under my feet. I thought it would be easiest! I'd just come up here and die a quick death. I'd hit those rocks down there and _splat_! All of my miseries would have left me like that!" Lily exclaimed, snapping her fingers.

"Lily, I am _so_ sorry. I didn't know I meant that much to you."

"James, you are my only friend left in the entire world! You're my best friend! I have no one else left but you. And when you slammed the door right in my face, I felt like everyone I loved had just dies all over again! I couldn't handle anymore pressure like that, James. I _couldn't."_

James nodded and slowly let go of Lily's arms. Lily felt almost empty now without his warm hands there to support her. "Ok, Lily. It's your decision. You can jump off the ledge and have all of your bad memories wiped away forever," James said pointing to the long fall. "Or you can come down with me and I promise you that I will never _ever hurt you __ever again," James finished, holding out his hand for Lily to take._

Lily gulped. She didn't want any thoughts left of her parents or any person she had ever loved. It would be _so much easier to get rid of every single thought she ever had by killing herself. But then she would forget James as well…_

Lily glanced at James' outstretched hand and then moved her eyes up to his face. She tried to read it, but like always, she failed to do so. He was one of those people you could almost never tell what they were thinking.

Lily swallowed again and grasped James' hand.

James grinned from ear to ear though it didn't last for long.

"_Suffringere!_"

The banister underneath Lily's feet cracked. She seemed to have been in shock a split second too long. The ledge broke away and Lily held to James' hand for dear life.

He lost his balance as well as Lily. James fell to the cold floor with a thud but somehow still managed to keep on hand holding Lily, trying at the same time to pull her up. It was hard trying to save someone when you were stuck lying down on your stomach.

Lily continued to dangle for what seemed like an eternity when in reality she was hanging for no more than ten seconds. She kicked her legs frantically, hoping beyond hope that she could swing herself up. A huge gust of wind whistled past Lily's ears and she felt it knock her legs into the wall painfully.

"James, I'm slipping! I don't think I can hold on for much longer!" she called desperately.

"Lily I'm not letting go! I swear that I will jump with you if I let go!"

"James, stop talking nonsense! Dying was my second choice anyway - honest! Just let go, James," Lily tried to persuade.

"That was your _only_ second choice, Lily! I'm not letting go!" James pulled with all of the strength he had left in his body, willing for Lily to be pulled up. "Caroline!" he finally called, thinking of the obvious - asking for help.

"Yes, sweetie?" she drawled, not taking any notice whatsoever of Lily's life at stake.

"Help me pull Lily up!" James yelled.

"Ooh, I'm so _sorry_, James! I just had my nails done before I came. I don't want to ruin them," Caroline said as she looked over her long nails. "They're so pretty, don't you think, James?" She began to wave her nails in front of James' line of vision down towards Lily.

James couldn't believe the words he was hearing. How could someone be as selfish as Caroline was being right now? James had to hold himself back from yelling every single swear word he knew in his vocabulary. He almost didn't manage to do so until he thought of Lily's life at stake. Lily was obviously a _hell_ of a lot more important at that time than Caroline. He would deal with Caroline later – after Lily was on solid ground _alive_.

He pulled as hard as he could, but only being able to pull Lily up a few inches. And James now just realized why his face was so watery – and it wasn't sweat.

James Potter was crying for the first time in his life.

"Lily, I can't let you go," he said, and used all of the adrenaline that he could to pull Lily up. He managed nearly a foot before her hands began to slip.

"Lily!" James called. And then Lily spoke. The world seemed to stop moving there and then.

"I love you, James Potter," Lily whispered and it was then that James realized Lily wasn't just any friend.

He loved her too.

Lily let her hand relax. James had no control over her action.  She had slipped from his fingers and was now hurtling towards the ground at top speed towards he sharp rocks.

James was motionless with his hand still outstretched where Lily had just been. He closed his eyes not wanting to believe what had just happened.

_There was no way to save her James. This isn't Quidditch where you're always the hero. Hold it!_

James shut his eyes tighter than before and focused as hard as he could.

And his broom appeared in his hands.

Without a seconds thought, James jumped off of the Astronomy Tower before he had even mounted his broom.

"James! What on earth do you think you're doing?" he heard Caroline yell faintly behind him, as he had already covered half the distance between him and Lily. He ignored her and urged his Shooting Star to go faster than he had ever gone before.

_Ok, it's just another game of Quidditch. It's the final game of the year. You catch the snitch, James, and you win the Quidditch Cup. You'll be the hero. Don't mess up. Keep your focus._

He was nearing Lily.

James didn't move his eyes from the target. He was inches away. James stretched out his hand and - 

_Whoosh._

James pulled out of his dive with Lily clutched to his side, merely feet from hitting rock bottom.

His broom began to shake uncontrollably from the speed that it had reached. James tried to slow his broom as good as he could.

But it wouldn't budge from the speed.

James swerved around the trunk of a tree and headed towards the Hogwarts lake.

_Ok, James. One. Two._

"Three!" James yelled and jumped off of his broom with Lily next to him.

James was the first to pop his head out of the water with Lily still attached to his side. The giant squid picked the two teenagers up from the middle of the lake and set them along the shore.

Lily began to cough up water while James continually patted her back. After she finished, she slowly began to pinch herself. She wasn't dead - was she?

Lily turned around and saw James grinning back at Lily.

"I told you that I wouldn't let you die," he muttered sheepishly.

And forgetting that she had _almost fallen to her death and _almost_ drowned immediately afterward, Lily threw herself at James, wrapping him in the biggest hug she had ever given anyone. James just smiled and hugged her back._

"Thank you," she finally said, reluctantly pulling away from James.

"All in a days' work, ma'am," James replied, jokingly. He looked over to see where his broom had landed. He didn't find that it had all landed in the same spot, however. "Oh well," James muttered to Lily. "I wanted a new one anyway…"

"James, I'm sorry. It's my fault that even happened to your broom. If it weren't for me…"

"Lily, I was the one who got us into this whole mess! Don't go around thinking it was you who got this whole thing messed up in the first place! You did nothing to ever deserve anything bad to happen to you, Lily."

Lily sniffed and wiped the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes.

James wrapped his arm around her shoulder and they walked back to the castle. Lily tried to forget everything that had just happened to her. But once she felt James' arm around her, Lily almost even forgot to breathe. She began to control her heart beat and had nearly forgotten everything until Lily and James turned the corner and Caroline came scampering down the steps. Lily immediately stopped walking and began to back up into James.

"Oh, James! I was so worried!" Caroline ran into James' arms and kissed him. Then she slapped him. "Don't you _ever do that to me _ever_ again!"_

James was taken aback by what Caroline had just done. He was then about to give her a piece of his mind, but Lily stepped forward attempting the challenge.

"You know, Caroline, I don't think that you have a right to even be here anymore!"

"Ex_cuse_ me? Who are _you_ to talk - _mudblood."_

James' eyes widened as Lily didn't even flinch. _That's it, James thought to himself as he set a course for Caroline; though he didn't make it. Instinctively, Lily flung out an arm to stop James and he caught it right in the stomach._

"James, this is my fight right now," Lily said.

James just backed away and let Lily continue. _Damn, that girl's got a strong will._

"You know, Evans," Caroline said maliciously, "I always thought that you would be the kind-of person to cower away from everything and anyone. Maybe I was wrong."

"That wasn't all that you were wrong on," Lily spat. "You picked the wrong day." And with that said, Lily forgot about magic entirely and threw herself onto Caroline. She pulled her hair and managed a few punches here and there.

James sprung to Lily's side and pulled her off of Caroline. Lily tried to fight away from James but failed as he lifted her feet from the ground. After James had Lily under control, Caroline had managed to stand on her feet with a black eye and a small bald patch as a result of the fight. He looked into Lily's hands and saw a chunk of blonde hair clenched in her fist.

"Thanks James," Caroline started. "It's a good thing you pulled her off of me before it was too late. I was about to - "

"You know, Caroline, I think I just saved your life by the looks of it! You were the one who was about to get seriously hurt by me if not from Lily." Lily looked up at James gratefully. He saw she had a small cut on her lip. "Ooh, Lily, here." James grabbed the end of his robes and ripped off the corner. He then began to dab at her lip while Lily blushed profusely.

"James!" Caroline exclaimed. "Whose side are you on?"

"Lily's," he said without a second thought.

"Now, James, you may need to think for awhile on this. I _understand. I know that it's hard to pick between your friend and the love of your life - but then again, not if I'm the love of your life. This question should be easy for you, James."_

"It is," James said. "I already told you my answer. Lily."

"Sorry," Caroline said, letting out a loud laugh, "I didn't quite hear you. You said my name, right?"

"No," James said without any hesitation. "I said that I am siding with Lily. I don't think I will _ever_ side with you again. You're not worth it. You're just a low-life piece of scum."

"James!" Lily exclaimed, mock surprised. "You took the words right from my mouth!"

"Well, I guess we just know each other too well!" James made a big show out of looking at his watch. "Whoops! You know, I think I'm gonna head down to the kitchens and grab a bite before I go to bed." Dinner had been over for a while now and his stomach was growling from lack of food. "Care to join me Lily?" James asked holding his arm out to Lily.

"Absolutely!" she exclaimed and latched onto his arm.

"Ok, James, I'll just let you cool off tonight. See you tomorrow night!" Caroline called to James' retreating back.

"You go on ahead thinking that!" he called over his shoulder and continued forward with Lily.

James and Lily turned a corner. When Lily made sure that they were out of hearing distance, she spoke. "That was a pretty good argument you had going back there. You know, you kept your style as well as told her off big time!"

James grinned. "You know, what you did back there - "

"Oh, god, don't even talk about it! I cannot believe I actually punched her!"

"Yeah, well, she had it coming."

"I feel so embarrassed right now. You won't tell anyone, will you?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Are you kidding? You're my friend! I would never do that to any of my friends!" James said.

Lily smiled to the ground.

The two walked in silence for awhile longer.

_Step. Step. Step._

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hello again!!! Al-rightie, we know the deal right??? Thirteen reviews, another chapter!**

**THANK YOUS: This is the part where I thank EVERYONE that reviewed my story!!! I will ALWAYS have a thank you section!!! (At least, I hope so!!!)**

**_Pheobers14: Thank you SOOOOOOO much!!!_**

**_Hazelmist: Ok, I didn't _exactly_ finish the story - YET!!! Do not fear!!! Thanks about the writing compliment!!! I'm so glad that you all liked the story! I was really nervous at first 'cause I didn't know what everyone else would think! That was one of the best comments I got on my story!!! I am SOOOOOOO happy you liked it!!! Thank you!!!_**

**_Quinn: Thank you!!! I actually have written one story before but, it was my first and THE WORST I had ever written!!! It's one of the most predictable story's I'd ever read! (I don't like predictable much!) Plus, I looked at other people's writing and found what I thought I liked or didn't like in it and sort-of used it in my own writing! And about the Sirius thing, I think I'll probably tell more about that. I sort-of thought about that in the back of my mind for awhile but now that someone actually brings it to my attention, I probably will write about it! (Although it may not be until the fourth or fifth chapter!) Thanks for reviewing!_**

**_Sirius' lover: Ahh! Now I feel so guilty for making Sirius the bad guy! It's like you're going to get a mob and attack me or something now!!! Don't hurt me! Ok, ok, I will try to make him Prince Charming but I think that would extend my writing about a few more chapters!!! Oh, the pressure… Anyway, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Lucia Dreams: I'm sorry it was too overdramatic! I kept thinking to myself that the story either didn't have enough happiness or sadness or whatnot and now I find that I had too much! Actually, this chapter is the one I was most worried about. I don't think I put enough emotions in this chapter. Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Sendirella: Well, I guess she didn't really hurt herself, did she… Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Oldestof3: I know! I would probably be pretty sad also!!! Sheesh, a few nights ago when I was writing, I got goose bumps from the story that I already know what's going to happen!!! Anyways, thank you for reviewing!!!_**

**_Chickensoup3: So do you know why Lily's in the tower now?!? And I'm glad that you liked the whole Sirius thing. I wasn't sure how people may take that. But it is possible he could have been having a bad day!!! And thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Lucida Luna: I'm glad you liked the whole Sirius thing too!!! I also have been experimenting with Sirius' personality a lot too. The next story that I'll post will have Sirius with a second side to him! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Dream*Kitty: I'm glad you still like the story! But I promise to you AND to everyone else that I will have Sirius be one of the "good guys" before the story is over but there might still be one or two spots where he doesn't get along with Lily. Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Green Eyed Rose: Thank you! That's one of the two best comments I've gotten on this story!!! I'm sorry it's so depressing. I can't wait until I can get my story out of the "terribly depressing" stage!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Kittiy: Thank you!!!_**

**NEXT CHAPTER: Ok, James and Lily have dinner with the house elves (That's pretty interesting…) and Lily ends up in the Hospital Wing. Wonder why… I don't know. BUT if you review then you can find out WHY!!!**

**(Hee hee hee… ::grins like a maniac::)**

**Well, thank you all SO MUCH!!!**

**Yours truly,**

**Amelia Bedelia**


	3. Why You Don't Eat Dinner with House Elve...

**Title: Steps**

**Author: Amelia Bedelia**

**Chapter Three: Why You Don't Eat Dinner with House Elves**

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hola! So, how's everyone doing? I think I'll let the number of reviews slip this time. I only had twelve people who actually reviewed but I also got two reviews last night that had to be sent by e-mail and they said that wouldn't let them review.**

**I also had one of my good friends (that I go to school with) review and she's been sending me e-mails threatening to hurt me if I didn't upload soon! Well, I sort-of (in a way) persuaded her to update her own story as well. And she knows who I'm talking about too…**

**I also wanted to point out that it might take a little longer for me to post my fourth chapter. I'm about two-thirds done but I am probably leaving town for part of the weekend and won't be able to post, but I will try to keep writing even when I'm away!**

**One more thing - I want to point out to three of my reviewers (Sendriella, Buggy-Such, and Pheobs) that I made a REALLY stupid mistake! I'm gonna use the best excuse that I have right now. I was really tired the night before I posted the second chapter and when I went to pick out the name of the chapter that I sort-of picked the wrong one. (I know, I know, lame excuse…) Well, I managed to fix it the next morning after they pointed it out to me, but I still want to apologize to them real quick! However, I can also say that you three actually got a small (ok, not _that_ small) preview of the second or third chapter of a different story that I will be posting as soon as I can!**

**Anyway, on with the story! Enjoy!**

**Chapter Three: Why You Don't Eat Dinner with House Elves**

James' thoughts were cluttered. He didn't know how he should think of Lily. _She's my best friend! Nothing else… I think…_

Lily stopped in the middle of the hallway again leaving James to continue walking on accident. He turned, however, once he realized Lily's arm wasn't in his anymore.

She began to sway with her eyes closed. "Lily?" James asked cautiously, grabbing hold of her arm.

And her eyes opened.

She looked at James curiously. "What are you doing?"

James had, in fact been staring at Lily no more than six inches from her face. He shook out of his reverie once her big green eyes locked on his icy blue ones.

"Oh, um, you sort-of just stopped walking…" James stuttered, backing from Lily nervously.

She eyed him confused. "Um, ok. Well, what are we still doing here?" She asked, almost rudely.

"Uh… Yeah, right! Kitchens… Right on it…"

James had to yank his eyes away from her green ones to focus on where he was heading. Lily was so confusing. He would never understand why she did what she did.

It took about ten minutes until they reached a picture of a bowl of fruit. James began to tickle the pear until a handle popped out of it. He turned the handle and opened the door for Lily. "After you."

Lily stepped into a room full of small house elves hurrying around, cleaning up dishes and the room. But once Lily stepped into the room, they began to swarm around her.

"Um, hello," Lily said, uncomfortably. She didn't know how she should react to these little animals. They were greeting her as if she were the first person they'd seen in a year.

"Anything Naty could get you, miss?" an elf asked.

"Anything at all?" another piped up.

"Er…"

"Mr. Potter! How is James doing today, sir?" Immediately, all of the elves turned their heads in the direction of James and found him as a new target of questioning instead of Lily.

"I'm doing fine, Ellie, how are you?" James asked.

"Ellie is doing fabulous today, sir!" the elf replied, starting to blush. Lily giggled. "Is there anything James is needing?"

"Yeah, could you whip up some potatoes and gravy, a few rolls, and maybe a few pieces of ham," James said without hesitation. He smiled over at Lily as the elves scampered off to find some extra food.

James led Lily over to a small table. Two elves continued to run back and forth bringing plates, glasses, and silverware to the table.

Ellie then hurried over to James and set a basket of rolls in the middle of the table. "Here's your rolls, sir. Ellie hopes that James Potter likes them very much, sir."

"Well, I'm sure I will," James said and placed one on his plate. "Lily, would you like a roll?"

"Sure," Lily said as he passed the basket to her. "You know, I think that elf likes you, James."

James smiled down at his plate. "Yes, well I'm a womanizer. I attract women of every shape, size, and species."

_Oh, how true he is._

Lily tried not to laugh at James so that he would realize he was acting stuck-up. That didn't work, however, since he started to smile at every house-elf that passed and every single elf grinned or blushed back.

Lily burst into laughter. Ellie shot a nasty look her way.

James smiled at Lily and ate his roll.

It was a few minutes before everything else was on the table and James was dishing out liberal amounts of food on both Lily's plate and his own plate. Lily didn't touch her food.

"Is James liking the food that Ellie helped to make?"

"Yes, very much, thank you!" James said, flashing a gleaming smile towards her.

Ellie began to wring her hands in her lap and turned bright red. "That is very good! Is James wanting anything else now, sir?"

"Er… not yet, I don't think," James replied.

"Ok, sir. Just call for Ellie when you is needing anymore food!" Ellie exclaimed, sprinting back to the kitchens behind them.

Lily smiled at James again. "So," Lily spoke, "when did you find these kitchens?"

James started to laugh immediately.

"Well, it's all pathetic, really. As you know, Sirius and I were friends before we ever came here. We were also those famous pranksters that you remember us as before we became friends."

"Well, James, you're still pranksters - you just don't aim all of your pranks at me anymore."

"Same thing," James said, lazily dismissing that point with a wave of his hand in the air. He shoved a spoonful of mashed potatoes into his mouth. "Anyway, before we became friends, Sirius always liked to eat a lot, you know?"

"James?" Lily interrupted.

"What now?" he asked with a whiny voice. Lily smiled at him.

"Sirius _still_ eats a lot."

"Whatever! Just stop interrupting me, ok? I'm about to lose my train of thought!" James said.

"How are you 'about to lose' your train of thought?" Lily asked curiously.

"Stop, Lil!" James exclaimed, accidentally spilling his glass of Pumpkin Juice while hitting his hand on the table. Lily broke into hysterics as James danced around the room with his pants covered in Pumpkin Juice and Ellie chased him with a towel.

"Ellie will help James Potter!" she shouted.

"No, no!" he yelled, jumping out of the way of Ellie. "James can clean it himself! Ellie, I can get it!"

"No, James Potter needs help from Ellie!"

"Ellie!" Lily yelled which caught Ellie off guard and James had a chance to grab the towel from her hands.

The elf ignored James and rounded on Lily who was laughing so hard she felt as if she would fall off of her chair at any moment.

"Why is you laughing, Miss? Miss is thinking it is funny that James Potter spilled on himself because Miss is making James Potter frustrated! I is not liking you, Miss!" Ellie yelled.

"Sorry," Lily said taken aback, "I was only laughing at the situation. It's all just a huge joke!"

"James Potter is getting angry at Miss and I is not wanting to have James Potter angry! Miss should leave immediately!"

"Excuse me, Ellie," James cut in. "Lily and I were just joking around. See?" James smiled at Ellie. "Fun! You don't have to throw Lily out. Now, do you think you could grab me another glass of Pumpkin Juice?"

"Absolutely, Mr. Potter!" Ellie said excitedly.

James waited until Ellie had left to the kitchen before he made eye contact with Lily. "I see you found out that magic was more effective than a towel," Lily said.

"Oh," James mumbled. He looked down at his pants analyzing where he had cleaned his pants with a simple cleaning charm. "Yeah, I guess. Shoot…"

"What?"

"I spilled on my shirt also. Hold on." James pulled off his shirt and laid it on the floor. He began to clean every spot that he had spilt on.

Lily blushed so deeply at seeing James without his shirt that she had to turn away so that she could try and help control the color in her face.

_Relax, Lily, he's only your friend, remember?_

Lily tried to eat some of her food but ended up spitting it back up into a napkin next to her plate.

_Crash._

Lily and James both turned their heads to see Ellie in the kitchen doorway with a broken goblet lying at her feet.

Lily heard her whispering to herself. "James Potter is wearing no shirt. James Potter is wearing no shirt. James Potter is wearing no shirt." And then louder Ellie said nervously, "James Potter has scared Ellie."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ellie. Oh, you dropped the goblet. Are you going to get another one for me? Please?" James asked, standing so that both Lily and Ellie had the full impact as to why girls loved James so much.

Ellie began to nod her head absentmindedly.

And nodded.

And nodded.

"Ellie?" James questioned. "Are you going to get my drink?" He threw on his new clean shirt. "Ellie?"

James waved his hands in front of Ellie's glazed eyes. He then snapped his fingers by her left ear and she came to attention.

"Yes, James Potter?" she asked as if nothing had happened.

"Um… can I get some more Pumpkin Juice?"

"Anything for James Potter!" she said grinning.

After she left, James turned and sat back down across from Lily. They just stared at each other for awhile.

"Well, that was strange…" James muttered and he began to shove more food in his mouth as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Lily shook her head and took the smallest of drinks.

"So…" she started. "Sirius eats a lot…"

"Oh, yeah!" James said, setting down his fork with a loud clatter. Lily cringed at the noise but quickly relaxed so that James wouldn't prosecute her with any questions.

"Well, Sirius ate about three times as much food as a normal growing Chimaera would!"

"Uh huh…"

"But he was still hungry before we went to bed. So we came looking for the kitchens. It was pretty easy, actually. We found it in about twenty minutes."

Lily shook her head smiling. "You guys are sorry excuses for Marauders, you know that?"

"Yes," James continued, "but that was the night that Sirius and I decided that we would create a union that would stand together, forever! Marauding until the earth shall crumble up and die. Until the last flower petal shall fall. Until there be none left to walk in our footsteps!"

"James, you're getting a little creepy on me here - "

"We would create the Marauders that would always be there for one another. We have a rule book on being a Marauder, did you know that?"

"Rule book?"

"Yes!" James exclaimed excitedly. "We wrote it all through first year. Every now and then we'll add or subtract one."

Lily looked at James awkwardly. "Interesting…" she muttered, beginning to play with her food.

"Lily?" James asked. "Are you ok? I mean, I know that you just about fell to your death and almost drowned, but other than that, are you ok?" James said as nonchalantly as he could which caused Lily to laugh. And that was _exactly_ what he was aiming for. He smiled along with her.

"You're funny," Lily said.

"Why, thank you!" James exclaimed dishing out another cut piece of ham. "Why aren't you eating, Lil?" he asked curiously.

"Oh," Lily said, looking down at the pile food still left on her plate. "I'm not feeling very hungry right now."

James nodded. "So, uh, you gonna eat the last roll?"

Lily laughed and shook her head again. "No wonder you and Sirius are best friends."

"Yeah," James muttered as he took the roll Lily offered to him. He began to peel it apart and spread some butter in the middle. "You know, we were almost not friends, remember?"

Lily cringed at the thought. "Can we please not talk about that?"

James looked at Lily in realization. "Oh, right. Sorry…"

_How could you be so stupid, James? You know that you and Sirius remind her of Elizabeth Ann! You are such a dimwit…_

"No, it's ok," Lily said trying to smile. "Are you ready to leave yet?" she asked, almost impatiently.

James had just about brought the roll to his mouth when Lily said this. "Yeah, sure," James said, reluctantly placing the buttered roll back onto his plate. "Ready to go, madam?"

Lily smiled gratefully. It wasn't normal that she could just pull him away from human food sitting out for free in front of him.

They stepped out of the hole leaving Ellie confused as to where James had gone to.

_Step. Step. Step._

Lily and James didn't speak on their way back to the common room. Neither dared to, but James got enough courage up for the job.

"So, uh, Lily?"

"Yeah?" she asked, curious as to what James wanted to ask.

"You know when, uh, you were about to let go of my hand. You know, in the Astronomy Tower…"

"Of course, James, I remember all of that vividly! Why?" she asked curiously.

"Well, just before you fell, you, um, said _something_. I just didn't know if you - er - _meant_ it," James said, blushing.

"What did I say?" Lily asked, unsure of the answer. It had to be something big to have _the_ James Potter blushing.

"Well… you said something along the lines of, uh, 'I love you,' you know - but I probably just misunderstood you!" James said quickly while Lily looked at him shocked.

Lily began to color. "Well, I _did_ say _that - _"

"You did?" James cut in, hopefully.

"But, you know, I only said that because it was one of those things where I never had the chance to say those three words to anyone. Well, besides my family, of course."

"Of course," James mumbled, crestfallen.

"But, James, I love you as my best friend, you know that don't you?" she asked, placing her hand on his arm making him stop in his tracks along with Lily.

"Yes, and I love you too - as a friend."

"Good," Lily said, plastering a smile on her face. And then it seemed as if the world had flipped upside down. Lily's eyes rolled into the back of her head and her knees gave way. Lily's head fell to the hard, cold floor with a loud _thud_.

"Oh, god, Lily? Lily, can you hear me? Lily, stop joking around with me…" James picked up Lily's head with his hands and began tapping her cheeks lightly seeing if she could react to the feel of someone else.

She didn't move.

"Ok, Lily, if you can hear me, I'm just going to take you to the infirmary. I'm going to float you there - don't panic," James said.

He pulled out his wand and muttered a few well chosen words which caused a stretcher to appear in mid-air. He placed Lily on top of it and floated her to Eleanor's office.

_Step. Step. Step._

James was nearing her office. "Eleanor!" he called down the hall. "Eleanor, I need your help!"

Down at the end of the hall, the miniscule door was thrown open and Eleanor came hurtling out, running towards James. "Oh dear, what happened? This wasn't another one of your brilliant ideas, was it, Mr. Potter?" she asked fussing over Lily at the same time that she talked.

"I don't know, she sort-of just passed out while she was walking and hit her head on the floor!" James said frantically. "Is she ok? What's going to happen? She's ok, right?"

"Mr. Potter! Please stop the questions! Help me take her into the infirmary."

After Lily was inside the infirmary, Eleanor didn't even take a second glance when she sharply told James to wait in the chair by the doors. She put Lily in a bed farthest from the door and pulled the curtains around her immediately. She began to run back and forth from Lily to her medicine cabinets.

James didn't move from his place by the door. Even after Eleanor had told him four times to go to bed, he insisted to say. There wasn't much that Eleanor could do, though, since James was Head Boy and it was his duty to make sure all students were safe. At least, that was the excuse that James gave her, as feeble as it was.

It was nearly two AM before James even stood from the seat. Eleanor had long since gone to bed and James had just now crawled out of his endless thoughts and he found himself worried about Lily almost more than he had been when Sirius was in the Hospital Wing.

James opened the curtains around Lily's bed a few inches apart and saw her sleeping peacefully. She looked so much like an angel when she was sleeping. James had to hold onto the curtains to keep from touching her face as if she were just a small glass doll.

"Lily?" he whispered, barely audibly. "Are you awake?"

No answer.

"Ok, well, I'll just talk to you then, I guess," he said, moving to stand next to Lily. He picked up her cold hand in his. "I'm really sorry that you got hurt," James said lamely.

No answer.

"I've been here ever since you were hurt, you know. I don't want you to be left alone in this empty room with no one to talk to."

No answer.

"Then again," James said giving up hope, "you're also unconscious." He placed Lily's hand back down on the bed and gently pulled the covers up to her neck. James pulled back Lily's bangs and softly kissed her forehead.

"Good-night," James whispered closing the curtains.

James walked back to Gryffindor Tower slowly, not willing to let Lily stay there alone. He climbed up the boys' staircase and heard Sirius and Remus still awake - and they were talking about him.

"This isn't like James, Remus. He's usually _always_ back before one, at least," came Sirius' voice.

"Sirius, relax! I bet James is just out with that Ravenclaw girl. He'll probably be back in ten minutes and everything will be p-p-peachy," Remus said, unsuccessfully stifling a large yawn.

James just shook his head and opened the door.

"James?" Sirius asked, amazed that Remus had been right with his prediction. "Damn, Remus, you're good."

"I know," he mumbled. "Will you let me go to sleep now?" he pleaded.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Prongsie, my boy, where have ya been?" James didn't even have to be watching Sirius to know that he had just gave him one of his sly grins. "How's Caroline doin'?"

"Actually," James said, "I was only with Caroline for about half an hour. Then I saved Lily's life, broke up with Caroline, ate dinner with Ellie bugging me and finally spent about, oh, the past four to five hours in the infirmary."

Sirius' jaw dropped. "Would you like to elaborate on that?"

James made a thoughtful face. "Not really," he said. He quickly threw on some pajamas and crawled under his covers. "Good-night."

Sirius was still sitting up in his bed, confused. "Good-night, Prongs," Sirius said, giving up. "You can just tell me about your adventure in the morning."

And his response was a loud snore.

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hoped you liked it! It was mainly just dinner and sort-of boring (in my point of view!) I don't think this has been one of my best chapters.**

**REVIEW SECTION:**

**_Pheobs_: I'm sorry that I posted the wrong chapter on you! I hope you'll forgive me! Anyway, thank you!**

**_Buggy-Such_: I'm sorry you had to read the wrong chapter too! I hope that after I sent you an e-mail you got to read the correct chapter! Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Sendirella_****: I'm sorry I posted the wrong chapter! It wasn't a flashback, but I've been thinking, it would've been pretty cool if it was, don't you think? Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Green Eyed Rose_: It made you cry! Either I'm a _really_ good writer or I'm a _really_ bad writer! Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Chickensoup3_: Thank you! I'm REALLY going to seriously try harder to keep the story out of the dumps from now on! You're probably the fifth person that's reviewed for me that said that the story was really sad! Thanks for reviewing!**

**_Oldestof3_: I agree with you on Caroline! I put her in there for the purpose of Lily wanting to commit suicide, but I took the chance to use her as someone I see as a "popular bimbo." She always gets what she wants and everything, you know? I also used her so that James could side with Lily after what she did and Lily would see James as "her hero." Anyway, thanks for reviewing!**

**_Quinn_: I agree with you on ALL of what you said! I just want Lily and James to fall in love as quick as I can get them to but my fingers and brain don't work that fast! I also hate Caroline with all my heart and soul. (Yes, I get into my stories a lot!) My English teacher is helping me proofread a different story I'll post soon and she was asking me a question about Petunia. She hated having Petunia being viewed as the bad sister and wanted to know if I would ever have them become friends again. I said "No, I hate Petunia!" She seemed a little shocked that I didn't like one of the characters I wrote about! What can I say? I pretend like I'm the main character a lot! Anyways, thanks for reviewing!**

**_Young Golden Unicorn_: Let's see… If I could date a Harry Potter character, I would most likely travel to the past and date James! (Even though I know he's taken… :sniff:) If not them, then probably George or Fred Weasley! They crack me up in most stories! I like funny guys! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!**

**_Kathy_: Thanks for reviewing! So, will you not hurt me now? I updated! Just like I said! I haven't checked out your other chapter, though. I need to check that out - AFTER I POST THIS FIRST! Thanks for reviewing, _Rosie_!**

**_Bebe-Chrissy_****: You're just like me in e-mails! I write a lot like that! Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**_Mystical Obsessions_: I thought about stopping briefly in the very beginning but as I got farther into the story I thought of a lot more ideas I could use! I hope you don't stop reading because I continued the story! Anyway, I really appreciate your thoughts!**

****

**NEXT CHAPTER:**


	4. Similar Thoughts

**Title: Steps**

**Author: Amelia Bedelia**

**Chapter Four: Similar Thoughts**

**AUTHORS NOTE: There's not really very much that I need to say today! (I'm shocked myself!) I don't have any song lyrics that go with the story, but I do have one thing that I've forgotten to do on my other chapters!!! You guys are so lucky! You get a Disclaimer on the top of every chapter now!!!**

**DISCLAIMER: I only own the plot and the characters Ellie, Naty, Caroline, and others you do not recognize. J.K. Rowling owns the Harry Potter series and characters.**

**Um… That's it! The end! Finite! Finish! Nothing left!**

**On with the story!**

**Chapter Four: Similar Thoughts**

At 6AM the next morning, James was already awake and dressed. He left Gryffindor Tower over an hour before Sirius would even wake up.

James was cautious about staying away from Filch, the new and extremely grouchy caretaker at Hogwarts. If he even crossed his path before class started, James would most likely have a detention and fifty points deducted from Gryffindor.

James tiptoed into the Hospital Wing as quietly as he could. He just barely recognized the shadow of Eleanor before it was too late. James hid behind a bed until he heard her footsteps retreat. Slowly, peeking his head out from behind the bed, he ran to the curtains with Lily concealed behind them. He saw no movement and quietly opened the curtains. Lily was lying just where she had been before James went to bed.

James sat next to Lily on her bed and picked up her hand again. "Lily?" he asked. He got the same response as last night.

No answer.

"Not again…" he mumbled, lacing his fingers through Lily's hand.

"James?"

Lily's eyes had flickered open and were staring at his hand intertwined with hers.

"Lily, I thought you were unconscious!" James exclaimed, pulling back his hand as if it were on fire.

She just stared at James. "What am I doing in here?"

James looked confused. "Well, you just sort-of fainted in the middle of the hallway. I thought maybe you would know…"

Lily took the information in. "I don't really remember that much. James, what time is it? No, what _day_ is it? How long have I been out of it?"

"It's uh…" James looked at his watch. "It's about an hour before classes start up. You were just knocked out last night."

"Ok… You know, James, I'm still a little tired. You might want to just go back to classes. You look a little tired too. I think you should just get a little sleep. I am," Lily said.

"Well, I guess I'll just let you get to sleep then. I'm gonna head down to the Great Hall and grab some food," James said, looking downcast.

Lily just smiled and rolled over under the bed sheets. "I don't think I'll join you in classes today, James. I feel like I'll puke any minute."

"Ok, Lily. I'll come back and visit you tonight."

"James, you don't have to do that!"

"Lily, I insist! It's the least I could do for a friend in pain," James said, standing up. "See ya, Lils."

"Bye, James."

Once Lily heard the door of the infirmary close, she sat up in her bed and leaned back on her pillows.

The truth was she _did_ know why she had fainted. She just didn't want to worry James. He was one of those people who panicked about a lot of things even if they seemed harmless.

For example: dreams. If Lily told him that she'd had a nightmare while she wasn't sleeping and had fainted instead, James would freak out.

She remembered the dream so vividly. This was one of those dreams where you think it real until you wake up and are proved wrong.

►♀☼♂◄Dream►♀☼♂◄

Lily opened her eyes. It was dark all around her. She heard nothing. Not even the sound of wind in her ears was present.

Lily pulled her hand up to her eyes and waved it. She could barely even tell that it was there.

"Hello?" she called into the silence. And then the world shifted. Her feet were pulled out from underneath her and she fell hard on her backside. The floor began to move and pulled Lily with her.

Lily could now see her hands and feet. The floor was taking her to a bright light towards the end of what appeared to be a small tunnel.

Lily crawled onto her hands and knees while the floor continued to carry her to the light. She was too scared to stand up without falling. Lily tried to look ahead and see what was coming.

It was too fuzzy to make out at first. And then she saw a small cliff. And then a bit of sunlight. And then some clouds.

It was her way out! That was the way to leave this strange place! Lily waited on her hands and knees until the floor stopped once she reached the cliff. Lily peered over the side.

It wasn't too far down. She could easily jump off and not break a leg.

The only problem was that Lily didn't know where she was. She couldn't see Hogwarts from where she was standing. It was a vast plain. There were orange and yellow leaves blowing around so Lily guessed she must have ended up in the future with fall in the air.

Lily looked at the ground making sure none of the large stones would be under her once she leapt.

But then she heard a sound. Leaves were cracking. There were people coming.

Lily looked over the edge cliff. Professor Dumbledore was walking towards the spot she was hanging over.

"Professor" she called. "I'm up here! Professor Dumbledore!"

He didn't look up. Dumbledore continued to walk in his normal pace. And once he moved to the side. Lily saw the faces of James and Sirius. And they were carrying a large wooden box.

"James! Help me down!"

He didn't look up. James just walked until he and a group of others were standing directly underneath Lily.

Lily, being as curious as she was, watched as Professor Dumbledore created a hole in the ground using magic.

Slowly, and unwillingly, James and Sirius gently placed the large wooden box inside of the hole. Dumbledore magicked some dirt in the hole and placed a large stone on top of it.

_Someone must have just died,_ Lily thought. _Wonder who…_

Professor Dumbledore said a few well-chosen words and everyone left. Everyone, meaning, all except the Marauders.

Sirius kneeled on the ground next to the gravestone. "I'm sorry," he said to it. "I really didn't hate you. We could have been friends. I'm so sorry." Lily could have sworn that she saw a tear building up in his eye.

Remus and Peter said their good-byes to the person as well. And then James kneeled next to Sirius in the dirt. He laid down a single flower. Not a rose, not a daisy, but a small lily.

And then instead of speaking to only the stone, he spoke to anyone listening.

"She didn't deserve to die."

"We know, Prongs," Sirius said on his side.

"No," James said with fire in his voice. He was now facing Lily's direction and she saw large tears rolling down his cheeks into the dirt. "You don't know," he hissed menacingly.

"James," Remus said cautiously, "she was our friend also."

"No she wasn't. _I_ was her friend. You only hung out with her because _I_ was hanging out with her! Don't you ever - _ever_ - say that you know _ever_ again. Because you don't. No one will ever know."

"Sorry, James. We know you were one of her friends - "

"I was her _only_ friend god-damnit! I was the only person she had left in this world! Her parents are dead, and her sister - _sister_ - blames her for their deaths! And on top of all of that, her best friend she had after that died also! I was the only person who actually cared for her! She did _nothing_ to deserve that horrible life! The only thing she ever did was tried to make it through her life! And _that didn't even work! She was just a girl! She didn't deserve that awful life!"_

James had now broken down on the ground sobbing into the dirt. His friends looked hopeless. They had never seen James act like that before. They had never even seen him cry before.

"James," Sirius started, raising a hand to pat on James' back.

"Don't come near me," James hissed. He began to control his breathing and sat up. A huge gust of wind blew past James and hit the small lily next to the grave. It began to float away into the wind and James just stared after it mournfully.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter hadn't moved. They just watched as James lay next to the grave.

"Go away," James said.

They gave each other weird looks. Should they leave him here without supervision? Who knew what James would do in this state of mind.

"I said leave."

Sirius nodded at the others and stood up leaving James behind.

Lily knew that James was crazy and stubborn, but she never thought he was _that crazy and stubborn. And who was that person's grave? Lily thought she knew who's it was, but that was a crazy thought! She was sitting right here…_

It began to rain. James didn't flinch as drops of rain hit his face and his eyes. He didn't seem to care about anything anymore.

But it was driving Lily crazy! She had to see whose grave it was. It just _couldn't be her own, could it?_

Lily leaned over the edge. The name on the gravestone seemed too hazy at first, but then it became clearer. Lily gasped and fell off of the cliff. She began to fall.

And fall.

And fall.

She couldn't - _wouldn't_ - believe what she saw.

Lily fell through James and through the dirt. She fell through the darkness and through the rain underneath the soil. She fell through time.

_But the letters were there in black and white!_

Lily tried grasping the dirt, hoping for it to slow her down. She threw her arm up and felt nothing but air pass around it.

However, it _is_ hard to grasp the idea that you had just seen your own burial.

◄§▼§►End of Dream◄§▼§►

Lily shuddered at the thought of her own dream. It was something she didn't think she could ever forget.

Lily tried as hard as she could for the next two hours to fall asleep but the dream kept bugging her. It was always there in the back of her mind, even when she managed to think of something else.

Eleanor finally realized that Lily had been awake so she looked her over and, with a frown on her face, gave her medicine for her to sleep.

Lily lied her head back down onto her pillow and, even with the dream in mind, managed to sleep.

►♀☼♂◄Dream►♀☼♂◄

Lily seemed to wake up in the dark. _But, that can't be right, can it? I fell asleep before lunch! There's no way I could've slept until past dinner!_

And then Lily recognized the surroundings. It was the same cave she had been in before. She waved her hand in front of her face just like before. She couldn't see it.

The floor began to move again. Just like before.

It stopped where it had before. And Lily saw Dumbledore, followed by the Marauders and a few other staff members.

Lily watched again as Dumbledore helped bury herself.

_No, Lils, this is just a _dream_! _Only_ a dream! It's not__ real._

James and Sirius lowered the crate into the ground again. Lily couldn't stand it anymore. She had to do something about it. Lily stood, prepared to jump.

_Don't jump._

Lily stopped and looked around the cave. "Hello?" she called into the empty space behind her. "Is anyone here?"

No response. Lily shrugged and crouched in an attempt to jump towards the ground.

_Don't jump._

Lily spun around again. There was no one there. Lily was beginning to get scared.

_Don't jump._

"Stop!" Lily yelled. "I know there's something or someone here! But I won't get paranoid! I need to help James. So you can stop now." Lily looked around defiantly in the darkness.

After Lily heard nothing, she turned and looked out at the scene below her. Sirius kneeled next to the grave.

_Don't jump._

Lily ignored the voice this time and leapt towards the ground. She felt herself hit the ground with a thud and then it dropped out from underneath her. She fell as she had last time. Lily reached for James' hand just before she fell through the earth and it passed swiftly through.

◄§▼§►End of Dream◄§▼§►

Lily woke from her dream hurling what little food that was in her body across the room.

ϐ○•○ϐ*James*ϐ○•○ϐ

James kept glancing towards the Potions door, expecting at any moment, for Lily to come walking in.

But it was only hope.

Lily did not show up to lunch at noon. She was still in the Hospital Wing. James had checked in on Lily for a few minutes between every period. He almost stayed the whole lunch watching Lily sleep until Eleanor shooed him out and he reluctantly got some food to eat in the Great Hall.

He and the rest of the Marauders left their spots at the table to head down to the History of Magic classroom. There he sat next to Remus on the end.

Professor Binns, as old as he was getting, was one of the oldest teachers at Hogwarts. Most students and some faculty members were still surprised that he still taught.

"Good afternoon, class," he muttered into his armful of books he was carrying. Today is a follow-up to yesterday's lesson…"

This announcement was followed by several moans and groans from the class, but Professor Binns either ignored this reaction or did not hear it.

"Students, open your book to page three hundred and forty-seven. Read along about the history of the Runespoor as I read aloud." James flipped open his book to the page Binns had said and promptly closed his eyes while laying on the book.

He began to think of Lily. Her beautiful crimson hair. Her slender figure. Her beautiful smile…

James was almost positive he was in love. She was the girl of his dreams. The person he would spend the rest of his life with. He knew he had never felt this way about any girl before. But that was also what he thought when he met Caroline. Then again, he hadn't known her then. He knew Lily though… didn't he?

James flipped over to face the direction of the door. He watched for Lily to come. She wasn't coming, he knew that. In his heart, he wanted her to be here so much, but his brain knew that she wouldn't be coming the rest of the day. James just didn't want to face the facts.

James' brain began to replay what had happened the night before. He was set on fast-forward, but once it got to the part after dinner, it slowed.

[][][][][][][][][] Flashback [][][][][][][][][]

_"You know when, uh, you were about to let go of my hand. You know, in the __Astronomy__Tower__…"_

_"Of course, James, I remember all of that vividly! Why?" she asked curiously._

_"Well, just before you fell, you, um, said something. I just didn't know if you - er - meant it," James said, blushing._

_"What did I say?" Lily asked, unsure of the answer. It had to be something big to have the James Potter blushing._

_"Well… you said something along the lines of, uh, 'I love you,' you know - but I probably just misunderstood you!" James said quickly while Lily looked at him shocked._

_Lily began to color. "Well, I did say that - "_

_"You did?" James cut in, hopefully._

_"But, you know, I only said that because it was one of those things where I never had the chance to say those three words to anyone. Well, besides my family, of course."_

_"Of course," James mumbled, crestfallen._

_"But, James, I love you as my best friend, you know that don't you?" she asked, placing her hand on his arm making him stop in his tracks along with Lily._

_"Yes, and I love you too - as a friend."_

,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,` End of Flashback ,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`.~,`

James paled. He had forgotten about that part last night. After Lily had fainted, his mind had been so focused on her health that he'd forgotten about that conversation completely!

James moaned out loud which caused many Gryffindors to turn in their seats to find the source of interruption. Not that they were paying attention to Professor Binns, they needed this time to sleep, just like any other person!

"James, shut up," Sirius said, not waking from his deep slumber.

James didn't pay attention to Sirius. He tightened his fist with his quill in it. Without caring, James snapped the quill in half. He needed something to take out his anger on.

"James, what are you doing?" Remus looked at James with an amazed look. "James, my boy, you look like you need another quill." Remus searched his bag until he brought up another quill and handed it to James. "Here."

"Thanks," James muttered, still a bit pale. He held it firmly in his hand and shoved it into the top of the desk as hard as he could.

Remus stared open mouthed. "You owe me another quill."

"Whatever," James dismissed with a wave of his hand as he lay back down on his book looking away from Remus.

And a lone tear fell down his cheek.

♣♥╫♥♣ Lily ♦♠╫♠♦

Lily was on all fours hurling up food leftover from the past times she'd eaten food.

Eleanor came running into the room. "Lily, goodness me, I didn't know you were awake. Oh dear, let me help you."

Eleanor ran to grab a bucket. She then proceeded to help Lily climb back onto the bed again.

"It's ok, dear, it'll be over soon. Then you can lie back down and go to sleep again," Eleanor said.

Lily shook her head frantically and then coughed up the last of her lunch. Eleanor grabbed a rag on the side table and wiped Lily's mouth off with it. "What is it, Lily?"

"I can't go back to sleep! You can't make me," she whispered dangerously.

"Miss Evans, what's wrong?" Eleanor asked, cautiously.

"I had this dream - "

"Dream?" Eleanor asked with her ears perking up. "You had a dream?"

"Yeah, and it was in the future, I think and - "

"Lily, why don't you just lay down for a bit. I'll be right back," Eleanor said as she scurried out the door.

Lily raised her eyebrow after her as she slipped underneath her covers.

*^^^^Eleanor^^^^*

"Professor!" Eleanor called as she ran through the hallways. "Professor Dumbledore, I need to talk to you!"

Dumbledore, at the other end of the hallway, stopped in his footsteps and turned to face Eleanor.

"Eleanor, you needn't call me Professor! You finished your learning career over fifteen years ago! You may call me Albus, how many times must I tell you that?" Professor Dumbledore said.

"Professor - Albus - whatever! We have no time for that! You remember me telling you that Miss Evans had come down with a bout of muggle flu?"

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Your point…"

"Well, I gave her a dreamless sleeping potion at breakfast this morning, but when she woke, she was throwing up all over the room and she said that she wouldn't let me put her back in bed because she had a scary dream and now she's back in the Infirmary and - and - I don't know what to do!!!" Eleanor said, breathless.

"Slow down, Eleanor. You say she had a dream? When she took a _dream_less potion? How is that possible?" Dumbledore asked. "There's no way that could happen. Do you know what the dream was?"

"Professor - "

"Albus, Eleanor! It's Albus!"

"Sorry, Professor - Albus! Sorry. Anyways, I believe it's a rare wizard disease. Don't remember what it's called…" Eleanor looked down at her hands trying to think of the name. She shrugged when she didn't remember and continued to talk.****

"Professor Dumbledore - "

"Call me Albus, Eleanor!"

"Albus," she corrected, "there is only one way that the girl can survive but it's nearly impossible. It's only happened once before, and that was over a century ago!"

"My dear, this is a student we are talking about. We must try anything that's possible…"

ϐ○•○ϐ*James*ϐ○•○ϐ

James exited Transfiguration along with his Gryffindor class. The students made their way towards the Great Hall for dinner. James, on the other hand, headed straight for the Hospital Wing.

He passed Eleanor on her way out. She ran in the opposite direction and didn't even say a small hello to James.

James ignored her and stepped inside to see Lily curling up under her blankets, lying awake.

"Lily?" he whispered.

She turned her head. "Oh, hello, James. How are you?"

"I'm the one who should be asking _you_ that!" James grinned at her as he stood next to Lily. "So… How are you?"

Lily smiled weakly. "I've been better."

"What happened, Lily? Anything I can do to help you get better? Anything?"

"James, relax. Just having you here is good enough."

"Are you sure, Lily? I can go to the kitchens really quick and get you some dinner or I could - "

"You know what would really help, James?"

"Yes?" he said and his ears perked up. "What do you need? I'll get you whatever you want."

"Could you not talk so loud and quickly?"

"Oh," James said, whispering now. "Is this better?"

Lily smiled. "Perfect."  
  
James blushed. "Are you sure you don't need anything else?"

"Well, tomorrow you could go and collect my homework if I'm not back in classes by then."

"What?" James exclaimed. "You're not going to be back in classes tomorrow? What illness do you have? Are you going to be ok?"

"James, my ears!" Lily complained.

"Sorry. So, have you been asleep all this time?"

"Well, I threw up once." James was about to overreact again but Lily threw one of her cold hands over his mouth. "I'll be fine," she said before she pulled her hand off of his mouth.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Lily looked up at the clock hanging on the wall. "James, you should get back to the common room. Dinner's over and everyone's probably heading up already."

James smiled weakly and stood up from his place next to Lily's bed. I'll see you in classes tomorrow then."

"Maybe," Lily said.

"No," James said, "I _will_ see you."

Lily smiled at James' stubbornness. "Goodnight, James."

Lily watched James' back retreat out of the Infirmary.

She loved him so much; he was making it so hard for her to hold back. She just wanted to throw herself on him and stay with him forever.

But she knew he would never feel the same way. After all, James told her that he loved her as a friend.

ϐ○•○ϐ*James*ϐ○•○ϐ

James closed the door behind him softly and leaned back on it. He let out an audible sigh.

He didn't know what she did to him. He felt like she whenever he was with her, he felt like he had to do anything and everything for her. No matter what she asked him to do, he'd probably obey her every order.

When he was with Lily, James felt like he had no control over his own actions!

But she had said that she only loved him like a friend. James had other plans, however.

_I'll get her to love me_, James thought. _I just need to let her see how much more of a friend I am to her than she realizes! She's pretty easy to persuade, isn't she?_

James' mind reeled back to several years ago when Lily had been arguing a case on dragons. She wouldn't give up no matter what happened.

_I'm in deep shit._

**AUTHORS NOTE: I hope you liked it!!! I know I said earlier that I wouldn't really use anymore flashbacks but in that category I also add dream sequences but I just thought that it would work in pretty good in the story! (I'm not really a "dream" person.)**

**I don't think there's much more to say here!**

**REVIEW SECTION:**

**_Ravenclawgirl: Thank you so much!!! I hope you keep reading!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Silver10fire: Wow!!! "Hall of Very Good Stories"!!! ::blush:: Thank you so much!!! And you can bet on me continuing! (I don't want to get turned into a purple frog with green spots…) Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Chickensoup3: Are there a lot of Lily/James fluffy fics? I never thought there were too many fluffy stories! Oh well, it could also be that I don't like to read sad stories but I could care less if I wrote about them or not!!! (I don't know, maybe I should try a sad story now!!!) Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Razon: Thanks!!! I'm glad I've got another reviewer!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Potter25: Thanks! I hope you get back from the store soon! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Hazelmist: I'm glad you liked the house elf part!!! Half of the third and fourth chapter I didn't have planned out. I just sort-of added whatever I felt like at the time. At the moment, I felt like having a house elf that had a crush on James! Then I (surprisingly) sat down and wrote almost that whole elf scene in about _three_ days!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Kathy: So, you want me to elaborate??? ::hee hee:: I'm sorry, I found that funny considering what my stories sound like when I talk!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Becky: Hmm… someone's a bit hyper… No just kidding! I'm actually like that almost 24/7 except for when I have to wake up before _****9am****, you know? Thanks for reviewing!!!**

**_Sirius' Lover: Maybe Lily's in shock… Maybe not… Who knows!!! With the brain that I have, it could be anything out of the ordinary and not related to Harry Potter at all!!! But, you know, it _is_ sort-of related to the story, so you lucked out!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Hermione749: I know it's a masterpiece!!! (Just kidding!!!) Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_JadeAngelou: Caps lock, huh? Cool! Anyways, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Lucky_719: OK, anything in the world? Probably to be a famous singer and then rub it in the faces of all of the people who are snobby to me in school!!! I'm sorry I don't have any other stories up yet, though! I think once everything calms down here then I will probably have time to post my other stories I'm working on! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Young Golden Unicorn: I'm actually really ashamed to say this but I completely forgot about Remus!!! He'd actually probably be my second choice, though. I go for the funny type of guys. (What can I say? I grow up in a family based on jokes!!!) My dad is probably the funniest guy I know and he's great to me and my siblings so that's who I would really like to be with! Someone who's funny and good with children!!! Then again, we don't exactly know their real personalities, do we? Anyways, thanks for reviewing!!!_******

**NEXT CHAPTER: I don't have the next chapter planned out very much but I can probably say that Lily will eventually get back to class with James sometime in the chapter. There might be a little bit of Sirius and maybe a bit of James' fan club! (Oooh, exciting!!! Hee, hee!!!)**

**Well, thanks for reading!!! Hope you like the story so far! I'm leaving for the rest of the weekend so I won't be back until Tuesday and I may not have another up until later in the week! (Sorry!!!) I will try to be writing paper/pencil anyway, though!**

**I'd also like to try to shoot for twenty more reviews! I'll say that I want to reach _at least _five away from fifty! I know that's less than twenty, but it's close enough for me!!!**

**I think we can reach fifty before I get home!!!**

**Yours truly,**

**Amelia Bedelia**


	5. Sirius' View

**Title: Steps**

**Author: Amelia Bedelia**

**Chapter Five: Sirius' View**

**AUTHORS NOTE: You guys have made me feel so guilty all week long!!! I wrote as much as I could when I was gone and then when I came back, I saw that I had OVER fifty reviews total!!! I feel like now I have to write as much as I can whenever I can!!! I just hope the story doesn't sound too rushed!**

**I also titled the name of this chapter _Sirius' View _because there's a little change of POV for a few parts to – you guessed it – Sirius!**

**There's not much more to say, so on with the show!**

**Chapter Five: Sirius' View**

"Ok, class, partner up," Professor Caly said. "Once you have your partners, begin to analyze each others dreams and thoughts that I told you to have ready for class today. We will just tell out dreams and thoughts today. Tomorrow we will try to analyze the dreams."

Sirius and James automatically walked to the back of the Divination classroom and sat next to each other.

"So," James started, "what were your thoughts before you fell asleep?"

"My thoughts… I don't know, probably something along the lines of 'I'm dead tired' I think."

"I agree with you there, Padfoot. So, what'd you dream about?"

"Sleep."

"You're interesting…"

"Oh yeah?" Sirius rebounded. "What'd _you dream about?"_

"Girls," James lied.

"Well, you got _me _beat."

James just chuckled. He hadn't really thought about girls last night. All he could really think about was _a girl; as in _one_ girl._

Could you guess who that girl just_ happened to be?_

You most likely guessed right if you said Lily. She had been the only thing on his mind since the "Astronomy Tower incident," as he liked to call it. James probably got two hours of sleep all night long. He spent the rest of the night worrying about Lily and wondering if she would get better soon.

"James? Hello? Prongs wake up!"

"Yeah, what do you want?" James asked, yawning. "I'm trying to sleep here, Sirius!"

"Sure," he muttered suspiciously. "Why didn't you get any sleep last night?"

"You know - school stuff."

"Why? We don't have any tests or anything this week. What _else was on your mind, James?"_

"Well, Lily's in the Hospital Wing too, you know? Just worried a little, I guess."

"A _little_? James, going to see her between every class does mean that you're worried about her a _little? It's so obvious, James. You like her. Just admit it now I you won't be harmed in any way!" Sirius said, holding up his hands in mock defense._

"No, Sirius, that's not it. She's just pale and she's been puking and she - "

"James, I get the picture!" Sirius exclaimed, earning strange looks from the rest of the class. "Yes, James, I, uh, understand your dream - no need to go into _too_ many details," Sirius said to cover up for his childish behavior.

"Ah, Sirius," Professor Caly said from the other side of the room. "You must elaborate dreams as much as you can! Remember that from now on, class. You might have the right reading if the person telling their dreams is not thorough. Always elaborate. Remember that Sirius."

"Oh, you can count on me, Professor!" Sirius called, giving her a thumbs-up sign. Professor Caly just glared and turned back to grading homework.

James laughed. "Nice cover-up, Sirius."

"Oh, shut up, would you? Now, what's up between you and Lily? You two have been getting pretty cozy after you broke up with Caroline. Speaking of Caroline - what _exactly_ happened? I don't think I got the _whole_ story from you yet. Then Sirius got an evil grin on his face. "You caught her with another guy, didn't you? You're just too embarrassed that she wanted someone else more than you, aren't you?"

"No, Sirius! I, uh - " James lowered his voice. "Um, how 'bout I tell you tonight, ok? Just not during class."

Sirius looked James over a few times. After he realized that he was telling the truth, he agreed. "Alright. But you can't weasel out of it this time, James. No exceptions. But it's gotta be pretty important to keep it so secret and no one else in the whole school knows!"

"Sure, Sirius, think whatever you want," James said, trying not to give anything away at all. Sure, he would tell Sirius part of the story tonight, he just didn't want Sirius to be bugging James about it while he was trying to concentrate on something other than keeping Sirius' mouth closed. Keeping his mouth closed took every brain cell from your body and half the time you could never do it!

James and Sirius leaned back in their chairs while they watched others struggle with this subject. They thought and thought as hard as they could for every memory and every thought they had the night before.

James and Sirius, however, just took the easy way out.

"Class," Professor Caly started, "I need your attention now." Everyone turned and stared at the Professor. "Thank you," she muttered. "Now, today you will be taking a topic that has to involve dreams and interpretations. You will come up to my desk here and take a piece of Parchment. Whichever piece you draw will be the topic you do a report on - _no trading," Caly said sternly, glaring at Peter. "You will write an essay on the topic that is __at least eighteen inches long." Again, Professor Caly looked at Peter who now began to shrink in his seat. "Next week you will read your essay aloud to the class - _no_ improvisation," she said, glaring at Sirius and James now. "Because once you're finished, I will check to make sure the Parchment is the correct length."_

Professor Caly picked up the Parchment and had students file up around her desk holding their arms out for a topic. James crawled through the crowd on hands and knees. He popped up in the middle and took the Parchment on top.

"Ha!" he called to the others at the back of the crowd.

After James managed to climb out, he flipped over the parchment and saw, in red ink, written "Descuardo Dreams."

"Hey, Remus? Have you ever heard of Descuardo dreams?" James asked.

"Hmm…" Remus leaned over to look at the spelling. "No, I can't say that I have. Sorry, James.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Potter, you picked quite a tough topic to research!" Professor Caly said, chuckling. "It's extremely rare. I expect you will be cooped up in the library for a fair portion of this week."

"Great," James mumbled as he flopped back down into his seat.

♣♥╫♥♣ Lily ♦♠╫♠♦

"Good afternoon," Lily called to Eleanor as she woke up at one in the afternoon. "I'm feeling a lot better today; can I go back to classes now?"

"You're feeling better?' she asked, worried. "You're not nauseous?"

"No!" Lily cried, hopping out of bed. She grabbed her clothes sitting at the bottom of her bed and threw them on as quickly as she could. "So," she said grinning, "can I go back now?"

"Lily, why don't you just stay here for the rest of the day? The headmaster wanted me to keep an eye on you for a little while. We're, uh, thinking that you might have a disease of some sort. It's best not to worry about it yet. I just think that you should regain all of your strength before you go and join those crazy students in the hallway. You know, just play it safe."

Lily groaned and sat on the bed. "Alright, I guess. But I'm not going to sleep!"

"That's fine. I just want you to stay here until dinner, at least. You can go and join your friends then. Maybe if you're lucky, Mr. Potter will drop by again. He's been dropping by between his other classes. He is such a nice young man. What a great friend to have."

"Yes," Lily sighed. "He's my best friend in the whole world." Eleanor pulled down the covers of the bed and Lily, without complaining, lay down with thoughts of James in her head.

"Just try and get to sleep, Lily. It'll make the time fly by quicker," Eleanor reasoned.

"I guess I could _try_."

"Now, there's a good girl! Just close your eyes - that's it – and I'll be back in a jiffy." Eleanor ran off to her cabinets to find a dreamless sleep potion. She grabbed it from off of the shelf and carefully poured it into a small vial to give to Lily.

"Here you - "

Lily had dozed off already without the help of a sleeping drought. Eleanor just smiled and shook her head as she placed the potion back in her cupboard.

►♀☼♂◄Dream►♀☼♂◄

Lily woke up in the same place she had been before. It was dark. She saw nothing.

The floor moved and pulled Lily towards that opening outside again. Lily stood once she reached the familiar opening and backed a few feet away.

The floor pulled her back.

Lily backed up again.

The floor pulled her back again.

Lily glanced around at her surroundings again. She heard a familiar voice.

_Don't jump._

She spun and stared at the endless dark behind her.

_Don't jump_.

Lily finally gave up.

"I sure hope you're right!" she called and began to walk into the dark.

The floor pulled her back.

Lily picked up her pace and began to run, but it was hopeless. She ran and called for help, but no one seemed to hear.

And then a miracle happened. She was lifted from the ground. At least her spirit seemed to be lifting out of her body. She could still see herself running on the ground, but the spirit lifted towards the rocky ceiling. Lily wasn't sure whether she should panic or be thankful for this.

So she didn't fight it. She kept floating, up, up, up, and then it was like she was being ripped from the dream.

The picture began to fade.

◄§▼§►End of Dream◄§▼§►

Lily was shaken awake and found herself looking straight into a pair of beautiful blue eyes.

"James?"

ϐ○•○ϐ*James*ϐ○•○ϐ

He was getting tired of Sirius' endless talk about pranks. _Politely, James excused himself from the dinner table._

"Sirius, put a sock in it," James said as he left the table without an explanation as to where he was heading. But the other Marauders already knew.

James pushed open the Infirmary door and quietly walked towards Lily's bed.

"Hey, Lils, are you awake?"

Lily's head was tossing back and forth and she seemed to be breathing hard. James could even see beads of sweat forming above her eyebrow. It was apparent, though, that Lily was still asleep.

"Lily?" he asked, placing his hand on her shoulder and began shaking her awake. "Lily, wake up. You're scaring me, now. C'mon, Lil. Wake up!"

Suddenly, Lily jerked herself awake, panting.

"James?"

"Lily, are you ok? You were sort-of moving in your sleep and you looked like you'd just played three hours of Quidditch straight! What happened? Did you have a bad dream or something?

Lily looked around the room as if it were some foreign place she'd never been to before. "What time is it?" she managed to gasp.

"Er - " James consulted his watch. "About seven. Why?"

"Dinner," Lily muttered to herself. "Eleanor, I'm leaving! See you later!" Lily called pulling James by the hand along with her. James had to use all the strength he had to keep from blushing.

"Wait! Lily, come back tomorrow morning for a few minutes before you go back to class!" Eleanor called after Lily.

"Ok!" Lily shouted back. Lily continued to run until she and James were out of sight from the office. Only then did she slow to a walk.

"Lily?!?" James exclaimed. "What has gotten into you?!?'"

"Oh." Lily blushed. "It's sort-of a long story."

"It is? Well, I've got time tonight. Surely it can't take longer than three hours."

Lily chuckled softly. "Nope. But it's also a little private so it can't be told just anywhere either."

"Right," James said officially. "So," he muttered after looking at both ends of the hallway, "can you tell me now? The hallway's clear!"

Lily just shook her head. They entered the Great Hall now. "James, I'm serious."

"No you're not."

Lily stopped in her tracks, shocked. "Excuse me?"

James smiled. "I said, you're not Sirius. _He's Sirius," James said, pointing towards the Gryffindor table._

Lily just rolled her eyes and walked towards the table. She sat down next to Remus while James slid into a spot next to her, across from Sirius.

"Hey, Lily," Remus muttered, stuffing food into his mouth.

"Don't you guys _ever_ stop eating? Not even to say hello to me!"

"Hey!" Remus said, taking another bite out of his chicken leg. "I said hello!"

"Yeah, with food in you mouth!"

"So?" Remus shrugged, as he went back for seconds.

"Oh, hey, Lily. I didn't see you there," Sirius muttered.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Maybe that's because you were too busy filling your stomachs to even notice that I'm back!"

Peter looked up from the other side of Remus to see what the noise was. "Oh, Lily! I didn't - "

"Don't even," Lily muttered crossly as she, herself, dug into the food in front of her.

James couldn't help but laugh. Lily just glared and proceeded to follow the other boys' examples of eating.

"Uh, Lily, are you ok? You weren't starved when you were in the Infirmary, were you?" James asked.

Lily shook her head. "No. I just, uh, well, to tell the truth – I just feel hungrier. I don't know."

Sirius looked up to see Lily in action. "My god, woman! What have we done to you! You've, oh Jamsie, dare I say she's – she's - "

"Spit it out!" Lily yelled.

"Lily, I think you're turning into – oh, I can't bare the reality of it all!"

"Sirius," Lily hissed, glaring at him.

"Lily, I fear this may shock you. I understand fully and completely if you wouldn't want to know of the danger that faces you."

"Sirius, what is it?" she said, actually sounding interested this time.

"Oh, Lily," Sirius said, wiping away a fake tear of happiness. "I believe you're turning into – into – one of us!"

"You know, I think you're right!" James said, looking at Lily in a new light. "I believe we should declare her a Marauder."

"James, there's a lot of responsibility in becoming a Marauder. You know," Sirius muttered, glancing at Remus in the process and James understood. Although, he couldn't really understand why Sirius wouldn't be able to trust her either…

The four Marauders and Lily left their places at the dinner table and headed back to Gryffindor tower. There weren't many people left considering it was a Thursday and most students were either exhausted from the hard week or were still in the library researching last minute homework.

"Hey, uh, James," Sirius said breaking into his and Lily's conversation, "I'm getting a little tired. Are you coming?" Remus and Peter, along with the rest of Gryffindor, had already left to go to bed, but Sirius still wanted to talk to James – though Lily just wasn't leaving.

"Er - " James looked from one to the other and then leaned over in Lily's ear. "You'll have to tell me your little secret tomorrow night."

Lily just smiled in return. "I'm actually going to stay down here for a few more minutes or so. I have a little homework that I want to look over before I go back to class tomorrow. Good-night."

James grinned. "See you tomorrow, Lily." He walked up the boys' dormitory steps and into his room.

Sirius, however, stayed behind. He waited until the sound of a door latching was heard. And then he rounded on Lily.

"All right, Lily," Sirius started, "I need a word with you."

Lily looked up from her books in the corner and Sirius walked over to meet her there. "What is it Sirius?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me you – you - "

"Sirius, what are you trying to say?" she asked, nervously.

"That you have been taking away _my best friend, mind you, not yours! You're taking him away from me! He hasn't talked to me about – about – _anything _in the past few days! Nothing! You're using him for something, Evans. I don't know what it is yet, but trust me, once I find out what you're trying to do to him, I'll get you. If you do anything – __anything - you can bet your ass you'll be wishing you were dead once I got through with you. You're not like the rest, Evans. I know your type. You don't care about anyone else but yourself. But whatever you do, if you hurt James, you'll regret it. I assure you that."_

Lily looked at Sirius with her mouth hanging open. "Sirius, I'm not - "

"I don't want to hear any of your pathetic excuses, Evans."

Lily sat in shock. Sirius was still looming over her. Lily could see his fists shaking in anger. His face was beet red and Lily couldn't help cowering away. It was just one of those reflexes that you become used to.

"Stay away from James. Is that clear, Evans?" Lily was too scared to say anything. It took her a few seconds before she realized he had just spoken to her again. And slowly, but surely, Lily replied.

"Crystal."

Sirius backed up the slightest and gave a small smile. "Good. Now _that_ mess is all cleaned up, I need to go and talk to _my_ best friend." He left without a word and ran up to the boys' dormitories.

Lily let the tears fall. She hid her face in her hands and sobbed as hard as she knew how.

She had never thought she was doing anything to hurt Sirius. Sure, they never really got along. Was Sirius really that selfish?

_James is his best friend,_ Lily tried to reason with herself.

_That gave him no reason to say that you should never see him again,_ her brave side spoke up.

_But, he said he'd hurt me_.

_Lily! Stop being a wimp! You need to grow up!_

She swallowed all of her courage she had and looked at the clock.

It was eleven fifty-nine.

_Memo to self,_ Lily said. _Tomorrow, I _will_ grow up. Nothing and no one will hold me back._

Lily let the last tear fall off of her cheek and onto her hand. She looked at the clock.

It was midnight; the start of a new day.

Defiantly, Lily wiped the tears from her eyes and stood from her spot on her chair. She made her way to the girls' dormitories and changed clothes.

"Who's making that racket?"

Claudia stuck her head out of the curtains that surrounded the bed frame. "Oh. It's you. Why are you up here so late?"

Lily smiled at them and did something she'd barely ever done to them before. She spoke to them.

"I was just talking to Sirius and James. Sorry if I woke you."

Claudia looked at Lily, shocked. "Uh, that's ok. I'll just, er, see you in the morning."

Lily smiled. "Alright. Good night."

"Night," Claudia muttered before falling to sleep again.

Lily climbed under her covers, thankful for her own bed back.

She smiled into the darkness and fell asleep.

ϐ○•○ϐ*James*ϐ○•○ϐ

James climbed the stairs to the boys' dormitories. Shutting the door, James changed into his pajamas and sat on his bed, waiting for Sirius.

_What's taking him so –_

"Hey, Prongs."

James looked at the door and saw Sirius had just entered. "Hey, Sirius. What were you doing out there for so long?"

"Oh, you know," he muttered, "Lily's pretty good at homework and I had a small questions on our, uh, potions essay."

"Right," James said, laughing. He didn't believe one word of what Sirius just said. There was no way that Sirius would have, somehow, just become interested in homework for one in his life.

"So," Sirius started, "tell me what happened."

"Sirius, aren't you going to change first?"

"Nope!" he said doing a belly flop on his bed. "So," he said in a girly voice with his head resting on his hands, "give me the gossip, Jamsie."

James smiled. He was still trying to plan out what he would tell Sirius. He couldn't say that Lily had tried to commit suicide. He knew she wouldn't want anyone else to that would break his trust between Lily and him. He didn't want that to happen. He'd die before he lost Lily's trust.

"Ok, Sirius, it started when I ran into Lily when I was with Caroline. And Caroline called her a, uh, you know."

"What?" Sirius questioned.

"You know, Padfoot. _That_ word."  
  


Sirius understood what James was talking about and groaned into his pillow. Sirius just thought that "mudblood" was just a word and he could care less about who used it on whom – unless it was used on Remus. He didn't want to bring up another fight between him and James so he kept his mouth shut for once in his life.

"So, does James here have a little crush on Lily?" Sirius teased.

James groaned and threw himself backwards onto the bed. "How obvious is it?" he asked, nervous.

"Oh my god…" Sirius looked at James, stunned. "You mean I was right? Damn, I was just making fun of you!"

"Ok, it's _not_ that obvious," James said to himself, rolling his eyes.

"So, James, do you really like Lily?"

"Yeah. I mean, she's never made me feel this way before, Sirius. At first I thought of her as just a friend, you know? Now, ever since a few nights ago, it's like I can't get her off my mind! Like it's some kind-of spell she put me under," James joked.

"Spell…" Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Sirius, I'm getting tired. Can I go to bed?"

"Sure, whatever. Good night."

James climbed under his bed sheets and fell straight to sleep with thoughts of a special redhead in mind.

►♀☼♂◄Dream►♀☼♂◄

There she was again. It almost didn't scare Lily anymore that she was here so often! Almost.

Automatically, before the floor began moved, Lily was off running like a bullet. It had worked last time, so why couldn't it work now?

The floor was pulling at a quick rate and Lily was having a hard time moving anywhere but backwards.

She ran and ran until she could feel the pain in her legs and could taste the sweat running off of her forehead and down her neck. She was losing stamina quickly and almost gave up altogether.

Lily was slowing so much that she could see the vast graveyard.

But she didn't give up. Even with as hard as it was to breathe now, she didn't give up.

She was only inches away from the cliff.

Five inches.

Lily turned her head and panicked.

Four inches.

_Run, Lily, run!_

Three inches.

Lily had no breath left.

Two inches.

_Come on, Lily, don't give up!_

One inch.

She let out a blood curdling screamed as her feet slid off the edge of the floor. Lily fell into the graveyard and saw nothing but rain and mud splattered everywhere. She fell through James. She fell through her grave stone. She fell through her own bones.

◄§▼§►End of Dream◄§▼§►

Lily woke up at six thirty the next morning, with her bed drenched in her sweat and vomit all over the bathroom.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks for reading! I'm also really sorry that you had to wait longer than usual for this next chapter! But the next one I have it planned out a bit more so I might have it up earlier! Yay!!!**

**  
And thanks for reviewing so much!!! I really appreciate how much people love this story! Thanks!!!**

**REVIEW SECTION:**

**_Silver10fire: I'm glad Caroline's gone too!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Kathy: You're welcome! Have you finished the Pensieve story yet? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Andrea-the-angel: It reminds you of a dream? Cool! And __maybe it was the outcome or __maybe it wasn't… You'll just have to find out the hard way… Patience is a virtue… Anyways, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Young Golden Unicorn: I'm exactly like you when it comes to reading stories over again! I read the end of the third HP book again and it was the one part where Harry and Sirius are talking and then Snape comes and finds them in the Shrieking Shack. All I could think about for the next week was how much I hated Snape's guts and what would've happened if they had caught Peter. I felt like I was actually one of those characters!!! Anyway, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Lucky-719: I didn't know that you had any stories up! I'll have to go check those out after I catch up all of my school work! Sadly, I don't think that it will all be caught up until this weekend!!! And I have a test tomorrow, and I have another test in a different class tomorrow, and I have a huge project due tomorrow that I haven't worked on, and… Well, you get the idea. But thanks for reviewing!!! Right now the only thing that cheers me up outside of school is reviews!!! Thanks!!!_**

**_Quinn: Thanks for your review! It cheered me up!!! By the way, I think you've reviewed every chapter so, apparently, you've been checking for my story as much as you can!!! (Aw, how sweet!!!) Well, I don't know if it would be easier for me to just e-mail you for whenever I update my story. Just tell me your e-mail in your next review if you would like me to add it to my list of people to send the "Update message" to. Thanks!_**

**_JadeAngelou: Oh no!!! Caps lock again!!! Well, thank you for that comment!!! I'm really happy you think it's you of the best stories you've read!!! Thank you SOOO much!!!_**

**_Little_Kitsune: Thanks for your review!!! And I held up my end of the deal! Lookie, another chapter! Now it's your turn again!!! (Hee, hee, hee… I'm just so evil… Yeah, right…) Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Kitty: Thanks! I'll try and get my story updated sooner next time!!! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Buggy-Such: Thanks!!! But I got a question - what did you think of the other chapter that I accidentally put up? Does it sound like a good story? Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Hazelmist: You liked the quills/Remus part? Cool! I sort-of made that up on the spot!!! I'm glad you like the plot!!! Maybe it'll hopefully all come back together soon again! Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_BastsCleopatra: Thanks! I hope there's enough plot going around! I have a little more idea as to hints and what-not in the story, but who knows! Maybe I'll just leave them off! Hmm… Decisions, decisions… Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Grrr: I'm glad you didn't flame me!!! And thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_Hia, CT'SD, CN'?: Your name's funny!!! I'm glad you like the story!!! You know, you remind me of me! I do that P.S. thing a lot. Once I had thirteen P.S.'s I think!!! Anyways, thanks for reviewing!!!___**

**_SVZ: Yes, you're probably correct in saying that Lily will live since she doesn't die until later in the books! :) Thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**_BeCkY: Wow!!! Someone's a tad hyper today! Hey, guess what? LAMELY!!! HA, HA!!! Anyways, thanks for reviewing!!!_**

**NEXT CHAPTER: Sirius tries to get back at James for… something. I think I also promised James' fan club for this chapter but I'm thinking it would work better for chapter six! (Wow, am I really that far?!? SIX?!?!? Sheesh!!!) Maybe a tiny bit of dream interpretation, but it's probably not what you're thinking, though. I'll explain next chapter.**

**I have ONE LAST THING!!! I am going to try to post my other story (I need to go through real quick for spelling errors and everything) and then I'll post it ASAP!!!!!**

**Thanks for all of your reviews!!! Keep it up!!! I'd like to shoot for about seventy this time!!! Thanks!**

**Yours truly,**

**Amelia Bedelia**


	6. Misery

**Title: Light**

**Author: Amelia Bedelia**

**Chapter Six: Misery**

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hey! I'm sorry it's been so long. I really do have an excuse – well, for the past two days I've been swamped with homework. Yes, so much that I couldn't get on the computer to even READ my e-mails! Then today when I had some free time to get on the computer, our internet was down for awhile. (Actually, while I'm writing this, my internet is still down, but once I post it, my internet will, obviously, NOT be down anymore! Ha! Go figure!) Well, I'm using my no-internet time to finish this story which I should have had done awhile ago! And, as you can see, it's finished! Chapter six!**

**Enjoy!**

**Chapter Six: Misery**

Lily wiped off her face and cleaned the bathroom as quickly as she could. She didn't want Claudia thinking she was some sort-of bulimic girl.

_Knock, knock_.

Lily looked up from her spot on the floor. _Too late,_ she thought worried.

Lily opened the door a crack and saw none other than James standing there.

"James, what are you doing? This is a _girls_' dormitory – in case you haven't noticed!"

"No, I noticed," James said, grinning.

"What do you want, James?" Lily asked, annoyed.

"I want you to tell me what you were _going_ to tell me last night before Sirius rudely interrupted our conversation."

Lily groaned. "James, can't this wait until later? Why did you have this feeling to just come up now? Why couldn't you have waited until later?" Lily hissed, venomously.

James shrugged his shoulders. "No one else was awake. I was bored."

"Can't you entertain yourself for once?"

"Lily, Lily, Lily," James sighed. And then, after he couldn't come up with a smart response, he settled with, "No."

Lily slammed the door in his face and finished cleaning the bathroom as quickly as she could. She hopped in the shower and threw on some clothes after she hopped out.

"Lily," she could hear James calling from the other side of the door. "What's taking you so long?"

"James, what do you expect? I'm a _girl_."

"Oh yeah, right."

Lily rolled her eyes and dried out her hair with a handy drying spell. She opened the door and pulled James down to the common room.

"Lily, what's your rush?"

"I'm hungry. Where's everyone else? Shouldn't they be down here by now?" Lily asked.

James looked at his watch. "Lily, it's not even seven yet. Most people don't get to breakfast until about seven thirty. Why get up earlier than you have to? Speaking of which – why were you up so early?"

"Bad dream," Lily said hurriedly as she walked out of the common room with James by her side. "Long story," she muttered.

"Lily," James laughed. "In case you haven't noticed, we've got about half an hour. You can start talking."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I told Eleanor I would stop by this morning real quick. Are you going to come with?"

James shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, why not?"

They headed to the Infirmary. Lily pushed open the door and walked to her normal bed.

"Eleanor?" she called.

Scurrying out from behind a large shelf of Potions ingredients, Eleanor rushed to Lily's side. "I was wondering whether you would come back or not. Especially judging by the way you were running out of here yesterday," she muttered, eyeing James suspiciously.

"I said I would, didn't I?"

Eleanor sighed. "I suppose so. Now let me have a quick look at you. Tell me, how are you feeling?"

"Better now."

"How were you before now?"

"I, uh," Lily glanced at James before she realized that he wouldn't tell anyone of her illnesses. "I was sick this morning."

"You what - " James started, but was cut off by Eleanor.

"Was it vomiting again?"

"Yes."

"Dear me. Lily, could you please stay here for one more day? Just one - "

"No!" Lily shouted. "You said I could go yesterday. I'm not still sick, am I? It's not this little disease you were talking about, is it?"

"Child, I'm just worried that you're not fully recovered."

Lily stomped her foot. "I'm going to classes today, no matter what you say. But if I start feeling strange again, I'll come straight to you – deal?"

Eleanor realized that this was all she would get out of Lily for a compromise and sighed. "If you insist."

Lily smiled. "Thanks Eleanor. C'mon, James, let's go eat – I'm starved."

James gave Lily a small smile and watched as she sprinted out the door. "James?" Eleanor called.

He turned. "Yeah?"

"Keep an eye out on her, alright? Make sure she doesn't hurt herself or anything. Just," Eleanor sighed. "Take care of her. She needs someone like you a lot right now."

James nodded and left the infirmary. "Lily!" he called. "Wait up!"

James jogged to where Lily was running in the hall. "Lily, why are you so energetic today? And what's this about a disease?"

Lily laughed. "It's not a disease, James. They always try to scare you! They said that my Great Aunt Karen would die a few years ago – she died last month!"

"Oh, Lily, I'm so sor - "

"Don't be," Lily muttered, still keeping her jogging pace the same while James began to lag behind her. "I didn't know her. I only met her once when I was twelve and that was for a few hours. I only got sent a note about it because I'm her only living relative on my mum's side left!"

"You are?" James asked, surprised. "Why are you telling me all of this now?"

Lily shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I'm just remembering all of this more."

Once they reached the Great Hall, it was only seven fifteen and no one had taken any seats yet. James was thankful that Lily was so hungry that she didn't even notice James having to breathe as deeply as she had to.

"So, James, why were you up so early?"

"I wasn't very tired." The real truth: he was thinking about a redhead all night long.

"So, Lily, what were you doing in the bathroom this morning _besides_ getting ready for the day?

She slowed her eating. "James, you've been bugging me about it enough – so now that no one is here, I'll tell you."

James smiled at Lily. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, to start with, I've been having these horrible nightmares."

"Yes, continue."

"James, don't even start that today. I just hurled up last night's dinner and I'm not feeling that good about it."

"Ah, now that's a different story! I thought you just hurled up _part_ of yesterday's dinner. Not the whole thing! Man that must have taken forever!"

Lily glared at James.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Ok, now, seriously. Tell me what happened. No more jokes."

Lily smiled, gratefully at James. "I've been having these nightmares with you, Remus, Peter and – Sirius." Lily cringed as she said the name, though, thankfully, James didn't notice. "And Dumbledore's there too. But that's only part of what's happening in the dream."

"Ok."

"Well, when the dream starts, I'm always in this dark cave. I can't see anything. Nothing. Then the floor starts to move and it pulls me towards this cliff. But once it gets there, it stops. And that's where I see you, and everyone else." Lily paused before she continued. "You're carrying a casket."

James dropped his fork on his plate with a loud clatter. He turned in his chair and looked at Lily, worried. "And who's _in_ the casket?" he asked.

"Me."

"Oh, god, Lily. I'm so sorry you're having these dreams." James wrapped both of his arms around her and hugged her as tight as he could. He didn't let go. Nor did Lily want him to let go.

But it wasn't until Lily saw, over James' shoulder, Remus and Peter walk in. She knew, for sure, that Sirius would be following them.

"Uh, James? I need to go now. I have to, uh, check in with my teachers and find what I missed."

"But Lily, I brought your assignments to you yesterday."

"James, I need to go," she said, nervous, and left the Gryffindor table as soon as she could. "I'll talk to you later. Bye," she whispered out of the corner of her mouth as she saw Sirius come into view. Lily scampered out of the Great Hall as Sirius and the other boys sat down beside James.

"Hey, James? What were you doing up so early?" Peter asked innocently.

"Oh, I wasn't that tired." James didn't talk for the rest of breakfast. No one really noticed.

But Sirius did.

♣♥╫♥♣ Lily ♦♠╫♠♦

Lily ran out of the Great Hall and back up to her dormitory.

Once she entered the room, she slammed the door shut and began to breathe heavily against the door.

"Lily?"

Lily looked up to see who had said her name. Claudia was sitting on the other side of the room. "What are you doing back up here?"

"I, uh, forgot my books."

"Oh." Claudia went back to whatever she was doing. And Lily wanted to know.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm writing a letter to my mum. She hasn't been doing too well at home and everyone's worried about her. My three brothers that work at the Ministry of Magic, my two younger brothers, both in Ravenclaw, and my twin sisters that just graduated last year. And my dad, and my step-dad, and my step-mom, and my four step-brothers."

Lily's jaw dropped as she tried to count the number of people in her immediate family on her fingers. "That's – that's – thirteen people in your family!"

Claudia gave a small chuckle. "Fourteen. And my step-mom's expecting triplets in January."

"My, God. I only have a sister."

"Well, you're lucky."

"No I'm not."

Claudia gave a loud, fake laugh. "And why not? I bet you have the ideal family. Mum, Dad, sister, and a pet. I have to deal with over fourteen people a _day_."

Lily just gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, my dad was murdered before I knew the meaning of 'gone' and my mum died last year from depression. My sister hasn't talked to me since the last death. Oh yeah, and I don't have a pet."

It was now Claudia's turn to drop her jaw. "I'm so sorry, Lily! I didn't know!"

"No one knows. Just James. I just had to show you how much better your family was than mine." They gave each other weak smiles, and then Lily burst out laughing.

"Do you find it funny that we've never talked to each other before, and here we are comparing families?" Both girls began laughing, but it didn't last too long.

"Er, should I let you get on with your letter?"

"Well…" Claudia looked at the clock sitting on the side table. "Shit! We're going to be late!"

Lily looked at the clock and saw they only had five minutes to get to their first class, History of Magic.

They grabbed their bags and ran out of the Gryffindor Tower.

Lily ran and ran, both of them checking the clocks as they passed them.

Turning the corner, both girls ran into the classroom. Professor Binns wasn't there yet. The two thankful girls looked for spots to sit.

"Claudia! Claud, come here!" Annabelle called from the other side of the room. Annabelle was the other girl that Lily shared a dorm with. To Lily, Annabelle was one of the most stuck up people she had ever seen in her life – well, besides Petunia.

"Coming," Claudia mumbled, heading towards the open seat next to Annabelle.

"What were you doing, hanging out with losers like her?" Lily heard Annabelle ask. "Please tell me that you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, Claud."

Claudia looked up and met with Lily's eyes. Lily waited for her response.

She didn't respond; at least not in time fort Lily to overhear. Behind her, Lily heard James saying her name. "Lily!" he called, "Come sit over here."

Lily spun on her heels. Remus and Peter sat together at a desk while Sirius was sitting at the next desk over. James had saved Lily a spot.

"Thanks, James," she muttered, hoping Sirius wouldn't hurt her for sitting next to James. The conversation, if you could call it that, was still ringing in her head from the night before. She could feel Sirius' eyes on her back. She didn't know how, she just did. It was one of those "feelings" you grow up with.

ϐ○•○ϐJamesϐ○•○ϐ

Lily stood and ran out of the doors. James could see his friends walking in the large doors. They sat down next to James and began eating with him.

"Hey, James? What were you doing up so early?" Peter asked.

"Oh, I wasn't that tired." James didn't talk for the rest of breakfast.

It wasn't until about ten minutes later that James spoke up. "I'm gonna go to class now, ok? See ya."

Sirius watched James leave. He was almost sure that James would've asked if they were going to go with him.

James slid into a seat in the History of Magic classroom. He didn't have to wait too long for others to show up. Soon, the rest of the Marauders were trudging into the classroom.

Remus and Peter sat down at a desk next to James' and Sirius sat next to James.

"Why'd you leave so quickly, James?"

"Er, Sirius," James hesitated. "That spot's not really, uh, saved for you. I was saving it for Lily."

Sirius looked at James, unbelievingly. "Ok." He stood and moved into the next desk over, not speaking for the rest of the class.

Lily and Claudia suddenly came running into the classroom. Professor Binns wasn't there yet. The two thankful girls looked for spots to sit.

"Claudia! Claud, come here!" Annabelle called from the other side of the room.

"Coming," Claudia mumbled, heading towards the open seat next to Annabelle.

Lily seemed to be waiting for something.

_Maybe she was looking for a seat._ "Lily!" he called, "Come sit over here."

Lily placed her books on the floor and sat next to James, nervous.

"Thanks, James," she mumbled. _Why's Lily so tense? I'll ask her later._

Professor Binns didn't show up for a while longer. The Gryffindors talked for what seemed ten or fifteen more minutes. Binns still didn't show up – until…

"Good afternoon, class," he said in his dull, monotone voice. "Open your books to - "

"Professor!" Peter shrieked. "What – how – are you ok?"

"Excuse me?" he asked, confused.

Lily looked up and found what Peter was gaping about. Binns didn't look like his usual self. He wasn't even standing. There, in the middle of the classroom, Professor Binns, their History of Magic teacher, was floating in ghost form. "Professor," Lily piped up," where were you? Why are you late?"

"Forgive me," he said, "I accidentally fell asleep _after_ I woke up this morning. Now, let's begin class."

The students didn't pay attention the whole lesson – not that they ever did. It was just that this time, there was a different reason why. Through the entire lesson, each person had tried to ask Professor Binns questions, finding out if he knew he was dead.

It seemed he didn't.

After class, everyone left as soon as they could. It was bad enough having to have History of Magic class, but in the morning? That was just inexcusable.

When Sirius saw Lily and James stand up to leave, he took aim with his wand at Lily's book bag.

"Dilorico," he muttered and he heard the sweet sound of accomplishment. Lily's bag ripped open and all of her school supplies came tumbling out.

"Oh, shoot," he heard her mutter.

"Here, Lily, let me help you." James crawled down onto his hands and knees in the ink and began to help pick up the books on the ground. "Here," James said, handing her the Potions book. "Not too much ink on it – but it's nothing a spell can't fix!"

"Thank you, James, but really, you don't have to help me. I insist."

"No, Lily, it's no problem. I don't mind. Honest." James looked up at Lily from the floor and grinned.

Lily began to blush and smile back, shyly.

Disgruntled, Sirius picked up his bag and hurry to his next class. Obviously his plan this time didn't work. He'd have to talk to her some other time…

In the meantime, James was still picking up Lily's books.

"And here's your – ow! Shit…" James jerked up his hand as if he had just set it down on a hot burner.

"What happened – oh no… James, are you ok?"

Several small shards of glass were sticking out of James' hand. Blood was already beginning to mix with the ink already covering his hand so that it turned a deep scarlet red.

"I think I'll live." James stood up and held his hand palm up to analyze the damage in the light. Feeling that it was her fault, Lily took hold of James' hand and began picking out the glass, piece by piece.

"James, are you sure you'll be ok? This looks pretty serious."

James couldn't talk what with trying to keep himself from blushing and keeping the pain in his hand blocked out. But, finally, after the last piece was out, James breathed out a sigh of relief and glanced around the classroom.

"Lily, there's no one here…"

Lily finished repairing her bag and looked up to see an empty classroom and deserted hallways. "Hello?" she called.

Even Professor Binns had left. Lily and James looked at each other, embarrassed. "Well, uh, thanks for the help with my books."

"Yeah, no problem. Thanks with my hand, but, you know, I might need Eleanor to check it over real quick. Do you, uh, want to come with? It won't take too long." But in the back of James' mind, he prayed that it would take all day and Lily wouldn't leave.

"Sure!" Lily said, jumping at the chance to join James. Holding out his uninjured arm, Lily grabbed it and they went walking off down the hall towards Eleanor's office.

Lily and James entered the office, chatting about James' upcoming Quidditch match against Hufflepuff.

"They're _all_ full of - "

"Lily!" Eleanor called from the other room. "What's wrong, headache, have you thrown up? What are your symptoms?"

"I'm fine!" Lily exclaimed, pushing Eleanor away from her. "James is the one who needs the medical attention."

"Oh. Well, c'mon, boy, what happened – ouch." Eleanor's eyes had wandered to James' hand. "_That_ had to hurt."

James just gave her a smirk smile. "Yeah, it _did_ hurt. I was helping Lily pick up her dropped books - "

"And my ink fell out too - "

"And it broke - "

"But he accidentally put his hand in it," Lily finished. "I took out most of the glass so I don't think there's very much left. Could you just bandage that up real quick, Eleanor?"

"Sure thing, child," she muttered, sweeping off to her cabinets, just like before, to grab her wand.

Lily turned to James. "How's your hand feeling?"

James cringed as Lily touched it. "Not much better."

"Sorry," Lily muttered. "Here, sit down on the bed."

James climbed onto the bed and Lily sat down next to him. She continued to try and pick up his injured hand and try to dab off the blood and ink with the corner of her robe, but James just scrunched up his face in pain so Lily stopped.

Eleanor came walking back. She used a spell to wipe the blood and grime off of James' hand.

"Now, James, you can either have me say a spell to just get rid of these cuts, however you would be left with some bruises and a little pain, or you can wear muggle band-aids, _which_, I may add, are rather tacky, if I do say so myself."

James gave a small smile. "I guess I'll take the first. I wouldn't want to look tacky, now, do I?"

Lily gave James a small push. "Honestly! Boys are more worried about their appearance than girls!"

"Lily!" James said, shocked. He began to massage his arm where Lily had hit him. "That – OW!"

Apparently, Eleanor had thought it best not to warn James when the spell was coming.

"What on earth did you just do to my hand?" James asked, looking at his blue and purple hand. Sure, the cuts were gone, but the pain was still there, only a little worse.

"Don't worry, dear," Eleanor said. "It'll wear off sometime tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"James," Lily reasoned. "Why don't you just stay here for awhile? I still have Potions I need to get to. There's a good forty-five minutes left. I've been gone for awhile and I need to get caught back up. I'll come meet you back here afterwards and I'll bring lunch, deal?"

James just groaned and tried to cross his arms. This was unsuccessful, though, because he began to yell out in pain once the bruised hand touched his other arm.

"James, I'll see you later. See ya, Eleanor."

"Wait, Lily, I've got a quick question: you haven't felt sick at all today? Are you sure?"

Lily rolled her eyes and left the room, calling out a quick, "I'm fine!"

She ran to her Potions lesson, worried about what the teacher might say if they caught her.

The teacher, however, was absorbed in checking homework.

Quietly, Lily walked into the Potions room, looking for a place to sit.

"Lily!" came a booming voice behind her.

Lily spun, like she had to James in the earlier class, to see who had called her name; although it wasn't James this time.

It was Sirius.

He grinned at her. "Come work on this potion with me. I need your help."

Lily gave him a weak smile back and sat as far on the edge of the seat as she could; as far away from Sirius as she could.

"So, Lily, how the hell are ya?"

In a soft voice, Lily stuttered, "I'm, uh, fine. What potion are we working on?"

Sirius shrugged. "So, where's _James_."

"He got hurt by accident. Just got some glass stuck in his hand. I just took him to Eleanor – he'll be fine, he's just bruised up a little." Lily said, hurried. She didn't want Sirius to take it the wrong way.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you say. But I don't believe you."

"Sirius, I _swear_ that I'm not hurting James at all. I'm really just his friend. I'm not trying to take him away from you or anything. He's still the same old James he used to be."

"No, he's not," Sirius hissed, three inches from Lily's face, looking her dead in the eyes. "If he were the same old James, he would've gotten rid of you over a year ago. You're just an old piece of scum that James mistook as a fluffy little cat that can do tricks. You're doing something to him – I know you are. And I'm warning you once more. If I catch you and James even looking at each other again, you're gonna regret even coming out of the Hospital Wing yesterday."

Without blinking, Sirius went back to his potion. "Pass the fish tails."

Lily was shaking in her chair. Her brain wasn't responding to any messages being sent. It seemed dead at the moment.

"Snap out of it - "

"Ok, class, it looks like you're all on the right track with your potions today. You may leave early."

Lily grabbed her bag and ran straight up to her dormitory, without stopping by the Hospital Wing like she'd promised.

This, however, was the least of her worries.

And they weren't about to get much better.

**AUTHORS NOTE: Thanks for all of the reviews, everyone!**

**I need to announce one thing. I will not need a specific number of reviews in order for me to post another chapter of this story. That, however, DOES NOT mean that I don't want reviews! They are more than welcome – I guarantee you that!**

**REVIEW SECTION:**

**Thanks once again, everyone!**

**Yours truly,**

**Amelia Bedelia**


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